Relatively Urgent Help

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I want to begin this by saying I harm myself with cutting only a few times per year. I've always thought it harmless. I use it as a directive to process what I feel during extreme sensory overload.

I think that I cut too deep tonight. I don't understand; I made the same motion that I have done for over a decade. However, when I finished, there was a fleshy gap over half an inch wide, and I could see the fatty patches in my flesh. I used a tiny Exacto (as I always have). I'm curious as to how this happened, and also as to whether this can heal without a doctor when the gap is over half an inch wide. Must I go to the ER? If so, what should I say?

You should contact emergency services by phone and tell them you cut yourself. They could tell you what to do then; it's possible you're not in a great state to get yourself somewhere alone, even anxiety-wise. The cutting incident is a concern on two levels, physical- and mental-health-wise (well they're related anyway). I know it is a hassle and not fun but it sounds like you are in need of medical attention of various kinds soon. Not a judgment, just saying what I honestly think is necessary for your health, based on the facts you've given.

You said the cut was over half an inch wide, but how long is it? You'll probably need a few stitches regardless. If you really want you could make something up, say you accidentally slipped while cutting vegetables or something (depending on where the cut is) but they probably won't believe you, especially if there are visible scars from previous cuts. Probably best to just come out with the truth, get the stitches, and get out. They might give you a course of antibiotics as well in case it starts getting infected. In my opinion you should really see someone about the cutting, and try to stop it permanently, but you seem capable of making your own decisions about that.

Redacted

Get medical help for the physical wound as others have suggested. Get mental health help for the underlying psychological reason you are doing this. Self mutilation is often a symptom of unresolved sexual abuse. I have done it, and that is what was at the bottom for me. There could be other causes, too.

Yes, you need to go to Emergency to have it taken care of. They will notice the scars from your other cuts and be concerned about this. Tell them the truth, and that you realize that it is getting out of hand, so please could you have a referral to a psychiatrist or psychologist. If you don't come out with that request, they might try to hold you for psychiatrict observation. I don't think you want that, so do ask for the referral as soon as possible in the conversation, so they will feel more comfortable about letting you go after they treat the injury. And, DO follow through with the psych doctor. You do need some help dealing with whatever is causing you to cut yourself. Also, the hospital staff may check to see that you have visited the doctor and started treatment.

When you are feeling stressed, take several deep breaths, or leave the area where you are being stressed, if possible. Might I also suggest some alternatives to cutting?

- A squeeze ball, like some people use to strengthen their grip.
- Juggle things--I know it sounds silly, but you need to put something in your hands instead of the knife.
- Exercise
- Music--listen, and/or play.
- Read
- Hobby/interests
- Clubs/activities
- Charity/volunteering
- Take courses, either in person, or over the I-net

Find something to occupy your time and your hands. Other wise you might really hurt yourself, even if you don't intend to, or you could wind up as a patient in the hospital psych ward--or even sent to a mental hospital for a while. You have the power and the choices of things you can try to prevent all of this. Use that power and these choices. Besides keeping you out of the hospital, and keeping you from cutting yourself, these choices can help make you feel better.

Good luck.

I want to assume you've already taken steps to attend this emergency. I hope so.

If you haven't already gone to a regular hospital ER, perhaps there's an emergency care clinic to take care of the wound.

If you're alone and can't get to a place, then as purchase suggested, call emergency services. At least they'll be able to tell you what to do in the meantime before you can get doctor care.