Am I a Horrible Person?

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Here are reasons why I might be:

I still cry
I often try to get people to do what I want to make me happy
I don't like it when someone does something which affects me
I don't like it when plans change
I argue with my parents when I don't get an answer I want
I say no to my sister when she asks me to do something, and I shout when she won't leave me a lone. Same with my brother

Would you say this is normal for someone my age?

yep, if anything depending on region this might be someone well behaved for your age

If it is normal for my age, then how come my parents say I'm too mean and selfish? I find it hard to think of others when i have my own problems.

Dont get me wrong, you can try to do better. But for the average 15 year old its not so bad.

I don't think it's unusual, but I don't think it's something I would find acceptable in a friend or family member, either. Respect and patience are very important qualities to me.

I am still mostly like that. If you're horrible, then I am too (perhaps I'm worse considering my age). People have called me selfish even though I don't mean to be. I can't say if it's normal - I haven't been in therapy yet.

Lighten up on yourself, English Jess! My son who's 13 says the same thing about himself.
He thinks he's a horrible person every time he establishes his boundaries. I guess he feels guilty that he's growing up and is put in a position that might make me angry with him. Your boundaries are what makes you an individual - there's no shame in that! But remember the golden rule:
Do unto others as you would have them do on to you. One more thing - you're female!, those feeling of thinking that you are a horrible person just might be PMS. Respect and patience are important in relationships too. Establish your boundaries in a way that is admirable for the adult that you are becoming.

I have an 18 yo daughter and a 15 yo daughter. From what I went through with them and their friends who come over, and one who lived with us for a few years including when she was 15, I'd have to say that all 15 yo girls that I've come in contact with are very changable with their moods and can come across as selfish a lot, even though they aren't selfish. Of course parents complain about that. It's the nature of the beast. From what you say, I wouldn't say that you are any different than my girls are/were. My 15 yo recently got mad and slammed doors and was very short and curt with me because I only had $20 to last the week and I said it had to be spent on things we needed rather than more hair dye for her. So yeah, that stuff happens. I wouldn't worry about it too much if I were you. You sound completely normal.

Not all therapists are that saavy to say what is normal and what isn't - unless it's something REALLY weird. Some people just need to cultivate patience and to remember that respect begets respect. No one "means" to be selfish - they just are. It's because some people experience extreme anxiety when they are denied immediate gratification. Emotional maturity takes a lot of work. I know people well into their 70's that act like little kids. Self -denial is painful but sometimes you have to sacrifice in order to keep peace but others must be willing to do this too.

Normal? Sure! Maybe a little selfish, but who isn't?

Especially if she's annoyed with the outcomes.

@ OP; no, you're not likely a bad person by that description but whether or not you're a bad person might not be the right question. Perhaps this: Are you happy with what you've described above and what its getting you? If not what would you rather be doing? Where would you rather be emotionally and with other people? Also, what steps could you take in getting you closer to where you'd rather be?

We need a lot of patience with teens - they're brains are still growing even though they look very mature. If they're still a pain in the neck by the third year of college, then they need to be told off already. I have a son who's 26 that needed a LOT of guidance - he turned out to be a very nice guy. I have another son who's 13 and is the same exact way as his older brother was. I have hope for him too. See the hair-dye situation - that's because she thinks that hair dye will hold her a comfortable seat in teen girl society. She's not going to die without dye! My 13 year old gets depressed when no girls like him. I'd like to slap some sense into him! He forgets fast about girls when a math test is looming!!

I think that's pretty common for girls your age OP. Also I checked your pro & you have Aspergers Diagnosed. Aspies tend to be more sensitive, have problems handling plan changes, sometimes come off as argumentative, & like being more alone. Does your family understand a lot about AS?

I wish I could answer this. I find myself constantly questioning everything I do, and the underlying motive. Do I like giving a gift because I GENUINELY like to make others happy, or do I get off on the self-satisfaction of giving a good gift, and the attention I receive for it?

Am I genuinely wanting to help by holding the door open for someone, or am I bowing to social pressure and convention?

Am I doing something because I WANT to do it, or because I am doing what is expected of me.

It is why the holocaust fascinates me, because I constantly ask myself, "Do I have the courage and conviction of character, to have done what was RIGHT under those circumstances? Or would I have been one of the many who was simply "following orders" Or would I just plead ignorance like millions of Germans did?

I don't know. I waver between wondering if I am a truly good person, and whether I fit the profile of an anti-social personality.

Maybe it's a matter of adding up all the negs, and the positives and seeing what you come up with?

I'm terribly flawed, I've made mistakes, I've hurt people, but at the end of the day I WANT to be better, I DON'T want to make mistakes, I want to be liked, and even loved. I don't want to be an embarrassment. Don't want to be infamous. I don't want to succeed at the expense of others, to be remembered like Steve Jobs was, as a brilliant guy who was pretty much a bastard as a human being.

And at the end of the day, I remind myself that for all my failings (which are many), for all my mistakes and the pains I've caused, when I encounter a bug in my apartment, I don't have it in me to kill it. I have to catch it and let it go outside. That must stand for something, I suppose.

That makes sense. I've got some work to do. Somehow I only know the extremes - extreme self denial (which I haven't been in about 20 years and I'll spare everyone that part of my past history), and selfish. I need to find my happy medium.
Thank you.

Hey! I'm 37 and I still cry from time to time. Some adults cry and some don't, whether they're male or female.