I think I've been confused

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Hi.
I've had some rather difficult times recently in February that was a disappointing down from how good I felt in January with regards to turning my life around with work ethic with music.
In recent times I've really started to gain a work ethic, which is not something I've usually been good at before... but I've felt threatened by this that and the other in the world... work ethic doesn't come easily for me right now and I did very well in January to do it... I let some kind of self inflated ego get the best of me; I sort of became self centered, maybe selfish...

In January, when I was doing well, I let things get to my head... I felt so over confident that I just decided it was okay to be a bit arrogant.
I let things get right to my head I do, very easily - such as I will be inspired by Beethoven perhaps and things I've read about people such as him and feel it's fine for me to be self centered in that way and even a little unpleasant in certain situations - I fantasize strongly see.
Things aren't exactly easy... I don't have a real life friend really to help teach and guide me about good, loving emotions particularly right now... I guess it comes from within right?

February hasn't been easy because I've lost that sense of work ethic and I really want to get it back... I am trying to and I realize that if I want a career in music I have to work hard at it... I seriously want to start trying now, to make this year a real beginning at it, but I seem to be struggling to get down to working at it.

I've felt highly irritated by words like "disorder" and "disability" to describe Asperger's, which is a difference I enjoy having, for various reasons, but I fear that my over inflated self ego about it distances myself from other people, makes me feel narcissistic and paranoid.

Well I guess I am the one who can ultimately decide what affects me and what doesn't if I strategize in the right way, and how I emotionally respond... I don't want to be paranoid, upset with the world, etc... I want to be gentle, love the world, regardless of how hard things are right now and not to lose that inner youth and innocence that I do not want to the world to take away from me... I don't want to lose that.

I am deciding to take a break from Facebook for lots of reasons - it makes me paranoid, it makes me stressed, and I tend to make post updates about myself a lot... good or bad, it gets awkward.

Well I don't know what help I'm after particularly other than that I feel ashamed of myself for what may be narcissistic behaviour. I am a musician, a performer, and good at it... but I don't have to feel so arrogant about it, and by the way I don't put others down - EVER. It's just that my self inflated ego, well it's about me - I am not at all unpleasant in my attitudes about other people, but I should tone this whole thing down a bit.

I have a really hard time making myself stick to a schedule as an artist. Recently I started a group (on facebook, but you could try doing it in real life, posting a craigslist ad or putting up flyers or something) for people to participate in doing once-daily artistic exercises and posting their results. Having other people doing stuff is a great motivation for me to do creative things on a daily basis.