Any reason at all?

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If I don't find a job soon, is there really any reason I should go on?

I mean really what purpose would that serve? if I can't freaking catch up to what I should be doing by my age........and probably can't get on disability what the hell is the point I don't want to freaking turn into that person no one wants to talk to or hang out with anymore because they know I don't have money and they might end up having to spend some on me. I am already enough of a burden as it is, last thing I need to do is become more of one but that's probably what's going to happen. Not to mention an even worse quality of life is just what i need....I am not trying to whine or anything but I am kinda running out of ideas and getting more and more frustrated.

It is really frustrating trying to get a job, when I got mine at walmart it was after I had turned in 30 applications.

Well I just really hope somewhere I can actually work at is hiring part time positions....because I really don't know what the hell to do if not.

This is a tough subject! I'm not an expert and answering freaks me out a bit but I still feel I should say something. I think I know how you feel. I have always been ten years behind my peers when it comes to pretty much everything except personal growth and intelligence. Don't compare yourself to other people! You are just waisting energy that is better spent on more productive and positive things. Don't waist your energy on worrying about stuff that hasn't happened jet either.

I can understand completely that you don't want to be a burden to your friends and family and not be the one that never has any money. But quite frankly, if they care that you don't have money they are not good friends.

And finally, you are only twenty two there is still plenty of time to make changes in your life! I don't know how things work in your country but where I'm from you can start medical school when you're forty and no one cares really. And if they do well you just shrug it of and go anyway. You have the right to live your life the way you want to live it.

Just because you might have gotten sidetracked or for whatever reason are not where you want to be that doesn't mean that it's over.

Well first off thanks for responding, and it helps some just talking about it...but I just want to say ahead of time I'm frustrated so if that seems obvious in my typing it's not directed at you or anyone else who responds I just don't want anyone getting the wrong idea.

I just don't see what productive, positive things there are for me to spend energy on........it sucks but in order to really do anything i need some sort of income otherwise I have no transportation which means major difficulty in looking for work or even volunteer activities if I was so inclined, visiting friends and family, ect. I mean the bus is not the best as it is but at least its something, its certainly not free though its like 176$ for a monthly pass which I guess ends up cheaper then going without the pass but still it's a lot. I mean for obvious reasons it's very hard to survive if you're flat broke in this society and I am not sure if I could do it.

Also it's not that people would not care about me because I don't have money, it's more like I want to be able to hang out with these friends and also a really cool guy I recently met and have hung out with a few times...can't really do that if I cannot afford the bus pass.

Also that's just the thing for one I don't think I would be very good in the medical field at all, and also that's another thing that costs money I don't have, school.........and I am not playing the loan game anymore I probably owe more in student loans then I've ever seen in my life time so I have no desire to take anymore out. I just hope I don't end up with the IRS after me over it, as far as I know I can call the loan department and defer it but I am not sure how long they let you do that for. So basically in order to do anything that i need to do or would like to do I need some form of income and taking out more loans for school is not an option........I could not even handle 3 classes a semester at a community college. And in reality I should probably be trying to get on disability but that would take several months or even years and I simply cannot stretch out around $800 for that long so its honestly more desperation to find a job then anything even having a job would not guarantee anything because I tend to get fired easier then not.

But yeah its just a lot to deal with I guess.

Yea. It's rough. I wish there was an easy answer.

I don't think people are just going to let you fall off the face of the earth though. There's enough people that care about you that they would be pretty devastated if you took the most drastic action. It sucks that you don't get along with your mom and it would be much better if you could live independent of her, but I really don't think she would decide to kick you out on the street and you do at least have other places you can go to get away if you need to.

I'm sort of in the same boat in the job department. I don't know if it's my depression or what but I don't think I'll ever be able to tolerate having to pry myself out of bed every day to do something that gives me no joy for 8 hours plus and then come home too tired and depressed to be able to do anything but eat and go to bed. That alone makes me unmotivated to even want to look for a job.

I can think of a number of reasons she would see fit to kick me out, but whatever it is what it is...and i do have some other places I can go. I just don't want my friends thinking I'm using them for that sort of thing. I mean its nothing like that its greatly appreciated and all but still I've also had to deal with quite a few intolerant people so I am kinda used to wearing out my welcome I guess.

Also I have no other choice.....If I literally refused to try and look for work or be doing something that indicates at least minor progress to her(regardless of how depressed I am) she would either be kicking me out or trying to get me sent to a mental institution.......and well honestly I couldn't blame her if I were her I would have no idea what to do either she can't very well just have me sit in her house and would probably assume the mental institution is the more humane choice. As is all I am going to be able to handle if even that is part time work so as it is I still need a place to stay because that wont be enough for me to move out unless I move in with someone else and we're splitting rent then its more of a possibility but that requires a job. I hope things go alright for you though as that sounds rather unpleasent I guess maybe trying to manage the depression can help but you know better then I which the best way to do that for you is.

I really don't think she will be able to kick you out if she cares about you. I mean, if you had a physical illness and she kicked you out on the street she would be rightfully seen as a horrible person. I think there's a big difference between her making a threat and her actually being willing to follow through.

Also, I never said you should refuse to look for work. I think you should look for a part-time job but just realize that it isn't the absolute end of the world if the first one you get doesn't work out. I mean, it will suck not having money and being dependent on your mom and/or friends, but you can still look for another job. If you're only looking for part-time it won't take as long as if you were looking for a full time job. I think as long as you just keep looking you'll have support from people.

Just trying to stay positive.

Well then she'd be trying to get me put in a mental institution, she would have good intentions but I am quite sure that could do more harm than good.....so I have to look for something so she does not start getting any ideas about how incapable or incompetent I must be. I mean her and other family members would be trying to help more or less but their help is not the kind of help I want.

But yeah if I find a part time job then that will be good, I am just worried about not finding one...because I don't like where that will probably put me mentally.

Have you tried the state unemployment office? Here, they have a website and you can go there and register and search for jobs within a certain distance of your area code or town, types of jobs, etc. It has all the contact info for each job too, and you don't have to go through the unemployment office to get it either.

Also, what kind of work are you looking for? There are temp agencies as well. There are some that put you in offices, but there are also some that send you out daily to different places for just labor type jobs. You are young and I'm assuming physically able to push a broom, and they send bunches of people to do construction clean up. Lots of women do that. You get paid at the end of the day too.

Those are places called stuff like Labor Finders, Labor Ready, etc in the phone book under employment. You go register during office hours and then you show up there the next day when they open, usually at 5:30am. They have their lists of who needs what people, and they start sending people out to jobsites. It's not ideal at all, but when you can't find work, it's something to tide you over. They also do skilled trades, and when my husband couldnt find work in his field before full time, he went to one of those places and got sent out to a job. The company they sent him to eventually hired him fulltime away from the labor place.

Would I have to be on unemployment for that? Because I've never worked long enough to get on unemployment but that might be an idea if that doesn't disqualify me from using their service.

And I might check some of those places, it would be better then nothing......though I would prefer the cleaning construction sites to the office work or hell I would even clean houses honestly. Other then that I would like to work at a head shop, possibly a no kill animal shelter because I could not deal with working in one that kills animals that aren't adopted in time, maybe a liquor store or a brewery would be cool but I probably need more experience and maybe a bit of education for that.

Have you ever tried commuting by bike? That's how I've gotten everywhere for the past 7 years and it's worked out really well for me. You can pick one up for not too much money, and they don't cost very much to maintain. Plus the exercise & fresh air I get with it help my chronic depression a whole lot.

That works for things that are close by, but no things are a bit to spread out for me to rely on a bike......however it would be helpful to have one for when the bus does not get very close to where I need to go as it would be quicker. Only thing right now is my bike is broken and I cannot afford another one.......so unless one of the ones at my moms house works its something I'll have to wait on it unless I can find a really cheap one at a thrift store or garage sale or something. Also in the winter unless its a nice day, it would not be a good idea to ride a bike where I live but yeah that is a good idea.

Sweetleaf, you are one of our bright lights. You have engaged posts that often are really good.

So, one thing, I want you to be part of the coming Aspie Revolution , where we take a page from gay rights, where it's okay for a person to be different, including in a way which matters. So, whereas today, at least in Houston, most people are accepting of gay persons, I hope down the road most people will be hip to a person being Aspie and be accepting.

Now, one of my standard talking points is that depression can also have biochem component and that it's hit or miss on which medication works. Okay, enough said. (brief . link) http://articles.latimes.com/2009/aug/03 ... ug-choice3

I hear you saying you want something now rather than down the road. First off, please try not to blame yourself for a crummy economy and for the fact that most corporations try and robotize their employees. First off, you may luck out and get a boss who's halfway reasonable.

You mention house cleaning. I am actually in favor of low-overhead service businesses, as part of a multiple track. That plus job hunting at the same time. And takes a while, and some people might expect more cleaning than reasonable for time and money.

Any chance in talking with your Mom with an advocate you know present? I mean, someone who can confirm that people on the spectrum do things in their own way and sometimes it takes a while.

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And longer term, I like the idea of re-ambitious dreams (and not buying into corporate superstructure).

For example, with medical, talking to patients in real way and arching across scientific subjects, that appeal to you? (I wish I knew how much I liked medicine when I was still in my 20s)

Or law, architecture, vet science?

Sorry I couldn't help.
I didn't mean that you should go to medical school I just used it as an example to illustrate that people start over all the time. I understand if you don't want to take an other student's loan. In my country it's free to go to school so I wouldn't have to borrow more than necessary for my living expenses.
Why can't you get disability?
Even if it takes months it might be worth waiting for, I mean you wont have to worry about money in the same way ever again. That is if it works as it does around here which of course it probably doesn't, sorry.
Then I guess the mental institutions don't work as around here either. Otherwise it might be a good idea. I was in one and that sped things up considerably! It didn't take long to get diagnosed and my disability. Now I have a state pension and don't ever have to work again if I don't want to. But then of course the money is not great. I get by though.
I don't know what to tell you. I understand that things must really suck and it makes it even harder to do things which makes everything suck even more. I really hope you find something soon!

Yes, many jobs are this way, perhaps even the majority, but some aren't. And this is where I think we need to re-'ambitionize' ourselves and dare to dream. Better jobs they treat you better and are more accepting of human differences anyway! (of course lot of random factors both ways)

Now, I am taking Sweatleaf's main question to the here and now. I will try and put on my thinking cap and come up with additional ideas.