Unable to cope...

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I just want to know if anyone can relate.

From as far back as i can remember, i've been troubled by ineptness. I've struggled with just about every situation. I could never cope and deal with school, university, family, physical appearance, getting older and being able to cope with the new responsibilities it brought, like driving, handling money. and the list goes on and on. even elementary situations seem beyond me for some reason. I've never taken an IQ test, but I'm pretty certain I'm at least of average intelligence. But for some reason being able to function with elemental tasks like answering the phone properly, greeting people and just the general courtesies around others has been too much for me to handle. I remember another student asking me if i was ret*d because i could not cope with the day to day functions of the school, and throughout all these times, i've been causing myself much distress due to my inabilities. am i too lower functioning for everyday tasks? I'm just beginning to wonder... and what the heck am i doing here, if i'm unable to cope.

Yes, I can relate. I am socially inept, and inept in a lot of other things, too. I have trouble keeping up with paperwork, and housework. Partly from not wanting to do them, partly from not having time or energy to do them due to health problems, and partly ineptness. I am inept at other things, too. My IQ is a little above average, but due to my Asperber's, I have processing problems, that make it take longer to absorb and process input, and to respond/react to situations. This can sometimes be mistaken as being a little ret*d, but we are not ret*d. It's definitely a mental processing problem. This is common amongst people on the the spectrum. What you describe fits right in with Asperger/Autism problems.

I remember having trouble playing board games as a child. It always took me longer to think through my moves in relation to the moves being made by others. The other kids sometimes started to play past me, which naturally drove me nuts, because I felt they were cheating. I am a mismatch with the NT world, but that is the world I am stuck with. I am in my early 50s, and have had to deal with this all my life. We just have to make the best of it.

The only help I can offer is coping methods to deal with stress.

- Music
- Read
- Exercise
- Hobbies
- TV
- Humor
- I-net
- Charities/Volunteer
- Join clubs
- Other interests/activities

The key is to find ways to keep yourself occupied, so you don't have much time to dwell on your unfixable problems. Dwelling on them too much is not healthy, as it leads to stress, anxiety, and depression. Just keep occupied.

My IQ is above average, but I still have trouble with basic things like realistic future planning, money management, buying clothes, staying on track with stuff that needs to be done for the so called real world (no problem if it involves special interests.), making and maintaining social connections that work, etc.

Since I went through life without knowing about ASD and that I have one, I learned to fake it in a lot of ways. So people have had expectations of me, and I of myself, that turn out not to really be in my capacity, at least not without help from someone. It's frustrating. But knowing about AS and having a community like WP has sure helped me stop hating myself for it.

Thank you both for the replies. Knowing people can relate made me feel a bit better.