I turn to coffee, chores and chocolate because I don't know

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where else to turn...

I've been turning to coffee, chores and chocolate for quite some time, now. This has been going on, for ten months. There are two sets of emotions that draw me to these three things. The first set of emotions are the yearnings and the grieving the loss of the London Routemaster. The second set of emotions were the feelings of being forced into a life of dependency towards my folks, when all I've wanted was to utilize my Independent Spirit to the fullest. How I've hated being treated like a child and a ret*d, day after day. That's why I've been turning to these three things, in order to get myself high on caffiene, endorphins and sugar. I didn't want to deal with any of my internal feelings. There are times that I still don't want to deal with them. I plan on stopping with the coffee and the chocolate, once I'm settled into my own place, tomorrow night. It will be hard for me to cut down on my chores. I need something tempting, that's non-food related to keep me from doing an excessive amount of chores. I wish that I could find out what that magic thing would be.

Okay. I know I'm not welcome here, so I'll leave this forum, until Monday.

Wasn't sure what to write...because I do the coffee, chores, & choc thing too.



Well the coffee keeps me awake and it's comforting...the chores keep my mind focused...and the choc...well I'm not sure about the choc...it's predictable, comforting, and it makes you feel good without giving you grief...until it reaches your thighs.

Soon you'll be in your own place and you'll have a new set of chores though...arranging, making it yours...

...so what's the first hobby you wanted to pursue but didn't because you where living at home ? Could be time to work on that.

The thing is that coffee doesn't agree with my system, and I like Tea much better, but I find that coffee dulls my emotions.

Coffee doesn't always agree with me (depends on how much I drink). I find de-decaffeinated can be a good substitute - obviously not when you're looking for caffeine.

Sugar - well, that doesn't do you any good (it gets the adrenal (adrenalin) glands going). How long has it been since you went 48-hours free from coffee and sugar? Keep doing chores though. It brings structure and something to do...

J

Hi Cockney Rebel. I would like to wish you the very best and smoothest of moves into your new place. I hope you feel comfortable there, and given that moving is stressful at the best of times,I would be kind to yourself and not try to give up all three things at once.
I love coffee and chocolate too and Im afraid Ive eaten too much junk today.
I dont think I could give up coffee and you know, there have been studies done that say coffee can be good for you in many ways!
Once more I hope you are happy in your new and totally groovy place.

CR, I think you and I are more alike than I initially realized. I also grieve for something that was close to my heart, but my drug was self-pity. I also failed a couple of classes at school.

I wish I was a grief counselor, because then I would have more solid advice to give you. All I can tell you right now is that, in time, this, too, shall pass.

I would like to thank all of you, for your support.

I don't feel the need to drink coffee, or eat chocolate anymore. My emotions have calmed down. I'm feeling more at ease. I've allowed myself to shed the tears for the Routemaster that I've been holding back, for eleven months. I've felt like a new person, since those two wet moments. I've had a proper serving of Whole Wheat Spaghetti and I'm still full from dinner. My need to constantly be doing chores, has also dimminished. I'll still do them, I'll just be doing them twice a week, like I should. I'll be doing Art Therapy the other five days of the week. I know that I won't be treated like a Double Digit Gretzkey, anymore and that also calms my nerves.