Beginning to alienate everyone

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I have a hard time getting along with my family, they're conservative gun loving, cheese burger eating, truck loving red necks. I don't know how I feel about them.

I love my great grandmother. (I don't live with any of these people mind you) I see her twice a week, and we make small talk and talk about politics sometimes or the weather or something. But I hate family dinners b/c my uncle and aunt (I call them that) have two kids. The one kid that bothers me is Jordan. I know they care about him b/c he's their kid, but who's supposed to care about me? I know my great grandmother does but let's say she kicks the bucket in the next ten years at 101. Who do I have left? My cousin Jordan likes to talk about conservatism, binge drinking and other red neck things, and everyone can relate. But whenever they say something about Art or something of the sort, I'll try to jump in but I'll studder and they'll tune me out and continue touching their ipads and iphones.

I've also had a hard time with friends. Meaning I don't really have any anymore. I use to. My best friend I lost to his girlfriend and other dudes with girlfriends. My other friend josh, I stopped hanging out with because we would talk. Alot. I felt like I was dating him and I had to get out of there. I just don't have the patience to cater to someone else's mandate in terms of friendship. If it was benefiting me in some way then I could see why I might be friends with someone. Also a bus driver who remembered me from a job interview, who is also a Jewish Hater, wants to hang out with me. I took down his number and said I'd call him - but I haven't. And I don't ever want to.

It almost sounds like you are being the picky one as to whom you are friends with. Why can't you, for example, talk about the favorite subjects of josh, just to fit in? Or why can't you be friends with a bus driver even if you disagree with his views?

I tried those things, but they make me uncomfortable

By the way, why did it never occur to you to try to find girlfriend yourself? Were you just assuming you are inadequate?

You do realize that your social status is being judged primarily on whether or not you have a girlfriend, and NOT on male friends.

What...?

I am not sure why are you angry at the question.

The reason I asked is because normally people your age are looking for relationships while in your case it seems like you don't, and perhaps this is one of the things that isolates you.

My honest opinion if you don't mesh well with local values/culture. Move.

I'm from Alberta too and it really is kind of redneck, or in the case of my city, Calgary "gangsta"

There are places out there predominately filled with people you can more relate to. Moving was the best decision of my life, it filled me with purpose and set my live in a positive feedback loop instead of a negative one.

This might be exactly what you need.

I have the same issue. I feel like I've outgrown my friends, and I don't like to interact too much with my family either. I notice that I move on emotionally and don't much share the process with the people I care or like, while they usually just keep on treating me the same. It gets old and I get bored of it. I don't see the point in dragging it along for years, although I do feel emotional attachment but not enough to keep in contact. I rarely ever try to make friends, but when I do it can be a wonderful experience.
I'm not sure what your intention with this post was, but I wanted to mention that I do the same thing as you. I felt guilty for a long time because my interest was not there, and sometimes I still do. I realize that I have to accept the way I am, somehow. I'm still learning how to accept it, but I definitely don't think it's beneficial to force myself to remain in contact with the people I become bored of or to show love to the people in my family, if I don't feel it. I'm not doing it to hurt them.

It's exactly what I need. I would love to find the right place to move. The city I live in is superficial and boring.

Sounds like my martial arts class sometimes - its one of those things where I can only be a quarter of myself, not that they aren't nice guys or don't think well of me, just that the conversation I can really let out without it being inappropriately cerebral (they're not dumb guys either) can hit a wall fast.

If you feel like you can't talk to your family about much of anything though or get cut off anytime you want to talk about something I get it, that's frustrating. In a sense though if they're all you have they're all you have. You do want to think strategically - ie. if you need to step away from them and gain distance or keep them sort of at arms lengh that's one thing but I'd recommend doing so cordially and without burning bridges. Odds are as well, especially at 22, you're on that dividing line where you're not a kid anymore but most adults - if you're in a group with them - will likely be cutting you off or treating you like a kid till you're at least 30. I can't give you a good reason on why people are like that, they just kind of are and with my own extended family - while they're great people and I like them a lot - there are still a lot of people who its difficult to talk to because they'll talk at me, cut me off if I start hitting self-expression territory (even if its rather light and appropriate topics), etc. etc.


Sounds like you're just exhausted and need a break from people's BS though. If you can get that I'd get the impression that you're reserves will come back, especially so if you can find friends and contacts who energize rather than drain you.