Null
Edit: Changed my post as I realized it may have been offensive. I guess I shouldnt have posted in the midst of attempting to control an anxiety attack. My sincere apologies. If this post can be deleted that would be fantastic.
Last edited by JesseCat on 02 Apr 2012, 5:49 pm, edited 4 times in total.
you're obviously not "ret*d".
You wouldnt be able to get a college degree and write this post if you were.
And you're not going to contract "retardation" ( like its the flu) either.
It doesnt work that way.
Even if you could get Alzeheimers at your age, which is probably impossible, it doesnt manifest quite that way ( i know cause mom has it).
Your hysteria is feeding whatever really is going on with you.
Whatever it is - you do need to get professional help for it.
Didn't say I could contract retardation. Nor did I mean any disrespect to ret*d people. (I really didn't.)
Last edited by JesseCat on 04 Apr 2012, 4:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Lately I find when someone talks to me and asks me a question, I have an inability to answer like a normal person. I have to think of the question, think of an answer, and when I do talk, hope to god my nerves don't make me stutter. When someone asks me to explain something, my mind goes completely blank, and my words come out jumbled. However when it comes to writing and typing, I have no problem and the words just flow.
I notice the longer I go without normal social interaction, the more my social skills deteriorate. I also may just be depressed which is clouding my brain, as I remember during college I was outgoing and able to hold conversations normally, and even though my part time job in sales was stressful I learned social skills rather quickly and made friends with almost everyone I had worked with.
Since graduating college, I was nearly hospitalized for depression due to circumstances I couldn't control and the fact that I couldn't find a good paying job or at least a job with a professional environment (Hooray Americas decaying economy!! !)
It's been over 6 months, no school, no work, no friends or people I can talk to my own age, same sh** every day, and I am trying to remain positive, but I think I am slowly going insane. I went from working, going to school, attempting to maintain some sort of a social life, having high hopes for after college, to absolutely nothing. I've been attempting to keep myself busy, I'm learning Chinese and C programming on my own, applying for jobs, applying to schools, working out every day, and visiting relatives whenever I can. But I went from having everything a normal person my age should have to having nothing.
I've been having anxiety attacks every night and sometimes I feel like my brain can't even process my thoughts (anxiety?) and like I am in a black hole with no end in sight.
I don't know if this all has to do with the fact that I may be depressed, maybe I am just unaware of it, and it's manifesting itself in ailments such as inexplicable headaches and anxiety attacks, and I'm just too stubborn to accept that I need to get help.
I am starting to feel like I am mentally challenged, with my deteriorating social skills. I am beginning to wonder if I was always mentally ret*d, and no one ever told me. But I don't know if this is true, because all of my life I always excelled in academics and was top of my class, every job I ever held I had gotten promoted or offered to be promoted. Maybe at 25 I have Alzheimer's? Or maybe I am just severely depressed.
Is trouble with verbal conversation an Aspie issue, and how can a person improve on these skills?
Has anyone else been in a similar situation and how did you cope?
How does a person know if they are ret*d?
(Paranoia and anxiety speaking)
What the hell is wrong with my brain?
Sorry for such a long rant, I have no one else to talk to, I don't want to go to that dark place I was in last year, I worked so hard to pull myself out and I think I may be slowly being sucked back in.
What the hell is wrong with my brain?
I went from working, going to school, attempting to maintain some sort of a social life, having high hopes for after college, to absolutely nothing.
I think socialization in the Autist is equivalent to learning an un-natural task. IF you practice THEN you maintain or improve on your ability to socialize BUT IF you discontinue ANY routines THAT promote social interaction........your ability declines. Socialization( face to face) is imperative to the Autist in making outer world connections outside their own special interests. Without these outer world ties, Autistics tend to return to what's innate and comfortable.... their inner world.
You have gotten accustomed to socializing (at a comfortable level) in the outer world(which is a good thing). However, your outer world routine has been taken away and now your innate inner voice is compensating for that void(in other words you are spending more time in your inner world).
The result: You think you are going crazy BUT you are most definitely NOT.
Listen, Dr. Temple Grandin is a phenomenal speaker, now. She is much better than she was when she was younger. I believe it has something to do with her rigorous speaking/lecturing schedule. (practice in socialization)
John Elder Robison, is another person who is a wonderful speaker. I can't say whether his improvement is due to Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation or NOT BUT i know he has a very rigorous lecture schedule too. (practice in socialization)
TheSunAlsoRises
You have gotten accustomed to socializing (at a comfortable level) in the outer world(which is a good thing). However, your outer world routine has been taken away and now your innate inner voice is compensating for that void(in other words you are spending more time in your inner world).
The result: You think you are going crazy BUT you are most definitely NOT.
Listen, Dr. Temple Grandin is a phenomenal speaker, now. She is much better than she was when she was younger. I believe it has something to do with her rigorous speaking/lecturing schedule. (practice in socialization)
John Elder Robison, is another person who is a wonderful speaker. I can't say whether his improvement is due to Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation or NOT BUT i know he has a very rigorous lecture schedule too. (practice in socialization)
TheSunAlsoRises
Thank you for your reply.
I figured that is what was happening to me (lack of structure, lack of communication causing me to regress, causing me to wonder if I am going crazy and or losing my IQ) (I won't use the "R" word again as that was an unfortunate lapse of judgement), I needed to hear it from an outside source. I never talk about my problems in real life and they manifest until I have massive anxiety issues.
Maybe I should see if I can take public speaking courses at a local college in the meantime.
Thank you again for your input.