Getting started in life - Should I stay or should I go to CA

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Ok, so I graduated from college with a Bachelor of Arts degree on the 12th of May, spent a week relaxing, went with a friend to a 4 day anime convention in my current town, then went on a 2-day gambling vacation, and just got home last night. So, whenever I go to a convention, my ideas about what I want to do in life often do a dramatic 180 degree turn. Usually, they are subsumed beneath the fact that I have to go to classes the next fall semester, but now that I am graduated, I am slightly different.

Well, before the convention, I planned to move to San Jose after I was accepted at SJSU. However, several of my best friends are moving to California, and I am really scared of losing them. Also, I am interested in being able to attend the bigger anime conventions down there. Now, I want to look for a job sooner and move down there, However, I am working with my state's Vocational Rehab to find a job. I am not sure how they will react to me looking for a job in another state or how it will affect my plans to become independent. I haven't had a job before, so I'm afraid that will hurt me going into the job market. But it seems to me like my family doesn't exactly support me on the issue. My dad seemed extremely grumpy with me this morning (he was okay when I came home last night), and asked me how long I would be gone for. He also seems to be pretty upset. I don't know, why should I, as his only son, have to bear all the burdens of helping out around the house and watching my sister's kid when she just lazes around and naps, watches TV, or plays on her computer. Why should I feel guilty about not being straight, about living in this conservative Mormon cluster f**k state. I feel so lonely all the time. I mean, I have friends online, but it's not the same as being close to them.

Anyways, I feel rudderless and confused. I don't really feel like I have a direction in life right now. At least I felt like I was moving forward when I was going to school. Now I have to wait to see if I can get a job,

Can't you move with your friends to Cali? There're strength in numbers, right?

Make a list of the positives and negatives of each choice and then consider those, and figure out which has the best positives for you.

On the one hand you have a safety net at your current location--live with family, and have state Vocational Rehab working with you to find a job. On the other hand you do sound like you are very unhappy with the current living arrangement, and it doesn't sound like a good one for you. The friends heading for CA is a smaller issue, as you can still keep in touch with them. However the other ones I mentioned are important. If you went to CA, you would need money to rent a place to live, and to pay your other bills, even if sharing an apartment, once you arrive. You would also need marketable job skills, and preferably, a job already lined up. It doesn't sound to me like you have the money or the job ready for a CA move.

There is an alternative to CA. If you can get a job in your current area, then you could save up your pay until you have enough money to look for a room or small apartment locally. That would get you out of your unhappy home situation. It makes more sense than the CA move, because it is far more likely to work out.

There's no job market here in California- especially if you don't have any experience in that field. Including people that are no longer counted because they ran out of benefits, unemployment exceeds 20% in some places. Also, jobs are fleeing our shakedown economic policies en masse. There may be a lot of various conventions in LA, Anaheim, San Diego, and the bay area, but you likely won't be able to afford to go. Even if you found a job, housing and inflation is so bad that you would likely need roommates to afford a place where you wouldn't want to be outside at night. The cost of living in the bay area is even worse. The cheapest place there, Oakland, is for all practical purposes a combat zone in the kind of places you could afford, and your degree won't matter much at the kinds of places that are hiring with no experience. Unless you move to a oil/gas boom state, you are best staying close to home! Your friends that move here will likely end up back with their parents in a few years anyway. It's what happens to a lot of people (especially under 30) here these days.

The ONLY place in CA where jobs are reasonably plentiful is the bay area, and the cost of living there is insane. It's like a boomtown/gold rush type environment, where every newly minted college graduate is moving to SF in the hopes of striking it rich, only to find a sky high cost of living and only a handful of people rolling in cash. Santa Clara County (Silicon Valley) has an unemployment rate of nearly 11%! San Francisco's is only low because so many workers commute from SF to San Jose for work, and live in SF, skewing the statistics. New grads move to SF and pack like sardines into tiny apartments, and work work work. Eventually burnout sets in, and they go back to their parents.

The only people making money are the programmers. I don't think TA has a computer science degree. Other than that, few jobs and really high cost of living. A studio is like $1800/mo if you are willing to live in the slums. The gay areas, like SF's Castro, forget it-zero supply and insane demand. Go inland and unemployment is around 20-30% no matter where you go, except maybe Sacramento. I live in Sacramento, with my parents, and I'm looking at leaving-the cost of living is way out of whack with what employers pay. I get free rent and a place to stay, so I'm here, but I grew up here. You simply can't do much with a BA degree. TA should just make his sister take care of her kid or give the kid up.

Honestly man i feel what you are saying with no way in life. I am in the same boat. I wouldnt move to cali just for that cause may not get a job. If it were me i would stay till you get more in the bank and more of an idea on life. It doesnt meen you cant talk to them on phone or internet. Hell you could always visit for anime conventions.

Sweet Pea hugs