severely depressed

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I am severely depressed as well as anxious. Can't really eat, feel like I'm going to be physically sick many points each day, can't think without it coming to really painful thoughts I can't get away from, can't do anything cause there's no point. I feel extremely alone. Life isn't supposed to be like this according to most people I talk to so why is it for me. I am unbearably sad.

i feel exactly the same way

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Last edited by CloudLayer on 08 Apr 2012, 7:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I can't get the suicidal thoughts to go away, it's way too late and I have so much regret and sadness from doing it wrong. I have so much regret.

Please please help. I'm looking for suicide hotlines but I can't fins any that aren't phone numbers besides the Samaritans and unfortunately I know from writing to them before that they give a formulaic response to whatever you write. I feel really really alone. Please tell me what to do. I don't know whether to check myself into the hospital or what. The hospital doesn't help though, and of course it's a bunch of money for nothing, and also my mom is having pretty major surgery tomorrow and she expected me to be around the house to help her out while she's recovering, I doubt she can take the extra stress of me getting checked into a psych ward. It doesn't help anyway. No one knows what to do with me. I am so hopeless.

Check with the hospital or state welfare office or the phone book under mental health to find out where you can get free psych help (out patient). A psych doc can try you out on some meds that might help. If you don't have a phone book, check the online phone books, or do a search for these listings.

You also need to find ways to occupy your mind, your hands, and your time. This will distract you from your problems. It does help, because it works for me.

- Exercise--it generates mood boosting endorphins.
- Read funny stories and watch funny shows. This also generates endorphins.
- Eat healthy, and enough of it. Starving yourself affects your biochemistry and your mood.
- Get plenty of rest. Not getting enough sleep is also a downer.
- Volunteer. There are people out there worse off than we are. Helping them will boost your mood, too.
- Take courses, either in person or online. Some of the online ones are free.
- Get involved in community functions.
- Take up a hobby.
- Join a club.
- Get a job, or if you have trouble working with others, work for yourself.

Now, go look up that mental health info and get some help.

X forget it I need to stop spreading the depressingness.

I completely understand where you are with this.

The world lacks heart, but you don't, so generate some compassion for whoever/whatever it is you're not forgiving.
Yourself, your past mistakes, and others, if you've been traumatised by them..

There are reasons that the world is like this.
Keep yourself safe from it all, and be strong in your own heart.

You are definitely not alone.

"Most people you talk to " are not on the spectrum. Depression is actually relatively normal for AS people to the point that if you get brought in to a therapist on other issues and they know, they'll probably assume or check right off about how depressed you are.

There were some decent tips above. I think one of the most base things is to develop ways to control your anxiety -- abdominal breathing for instance is very easy and very powerful considering.

Regards,
Eldanesh

I understand where you are. I have been very depressed and suicidal recently. I made an attempt a few weeks ago, and almost made an attempt last week - but this was averted by a colleague, my GP and my psychiatrist (who gave me 50mg amisulpride which lifted my mood like nothing else ever has, the effects lasted well into the next day and it broke my dangerous cycle - even though I now am back to my normal background level of suicidal thought/self harm it is nowhere near as bad). They have talked about admitting me to psych hospital but I don't want this so instead my GP keeps a close eye on me when I'm having a hard time.

I just want you to know you are *really* not alone and that there are things out there that can help and help quickly in a crisis. In my view suicide hotlines are only useful if you feel better once you've talked about what's bothering you - this doesn't work for me and often makes me feel worse. Please go to see a doctor and ask for help. When we feel as bad as you do now it's almost impossible to help ourselves even if we want to.

Edit: Edited to reduce the amount of irrelevant information ...

Last edited by YellowBanana on 09 Apr 2012, 1:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

deleted

I'm ever so depressed. I'm crying right now. I've been crying on and off all day. Maybe my depression has come back because it's Easter week-end and so I'm all out of routine, I don't know. I've practically spent 4 long afternoons sitting alone in my room, so of course I've been thinking a lot more, and all these horrible depressed thoughts have come into my head.

I know I hate to say this, but I've decided I hate my cousins for being neurotypicals and all have a crowd of mates they go out with and I don't. And I find it so difficult to say no to people, it's that difficult, and so I have to make up lies all the time because I find it's easier than saying no, but then I end up having to cover up the first lie with another lie until I find myself in deep s**t and having to think up long stories in order to clear myself. And I don't like lying to my friends, but I don't like saying no either. I know we could go on and on forever saying ''if they get the hump then they weren't friends in the first place'' because that does not seem to work on me. I find a lot of people are so sensitive like that, whether they're nice or not. They don't mean to be like it, it's just the way they are. People who don't get the hump when you say no are only very few and far between, and those are the ones who are also mugs who would put up with anything, so getting funny over a disagreement is just their way of saying ''I'm not going to be a mug, I'm going to say how I feel.'' Trust me, it's true.

I just wish I knew how to be assertive and soft at the same time. With someone like me, I'm either assertive and stubborn and looking like I'm being selfish, or I'm soft and timid and look like I'm easily led and will put up with anything. And I hate being like it. I just don't know how to balance the two out. I hate myself and the way I am.

So depressed. I don't want to go to the job centre tomorrow, getting on a bus what I don't even like getting, and going to somewhere where I hate going, in a busy city with lots of people staring at me and making me feel insufficient like I shouldn't be there. I just want to stay in my local town and just leisurely do what I want to do and be somewhere where I feel secure and accepted. That's all I want.

Hi Joe. I'm sorry to hear you're depressed also. It's interesting, I had originally written something about the topics you're talking about, then deleted it because I wasn't sure I wanted to say it. But you are right, or I find what you're saying applies a lot to me too, about the thin line between sticking up for yourself and being seen as pushy (or sticking up for yourself and letting yourself get walked on). .. Hopefully your job centre expedition goes as swimmingly as possible tomorrow. It can be really unpleasant all the highly alarming things you need to do just to carry out the basic routine of doing what you "need" to do. Towns and cities are not really built with people who like nice soothing environments in mind huh. You would think everybody would appreciate nice soothing environments but one look at this horrible highway near my house will tell you otherwise.

You're one neat person, don't hate yourself. Easier said than done but.

YellowBanana I am sorry you're depressed too, and I really hope you feel better also. I appreciate the solidarity, I just hope you feel better soon.

Eldanesh I know people with Asperger's are at risk for depression but I don't just want to accept it like it's my lot. I know you weren't suggesting just accepting it but I don't want to see depression as "normal"in any case. Even among people with Asperger's I've noticed a lot of different temperaments, and among those who've said they have depression, a lot of situational factors like isolation and living in places built for people who don't care about blaring sirens etc. are involved, so many that it makes me not want to attach the depression to the Asperger's at all but to the way society is set up. That is my preference anyway cause I don't want to see a certain neurology as a pathology.

Questor those are great suggestions, thank you.

ThinkTrees I really appreciate your words and understanding.

Oceandrop I'm sorry you feel the same way and hope you feel better also.

I'm pretty depressed today, but I have to go to a job orientation but I don't know if I'm hired yet.....so I have to leave for that soon. Hopefully I don't come off as depressed as I feel.

Well the fact of there being a job orientation is positive but probably nerve-wracking I imagine... good luck with that Sweetleaf... hopefully you feel better soon, however the job thing turns out. That is the most important thing, not being depressed and otherwise being in good health, everything else comes from that as I see it.

I feel a bit better today, after getting out and socialising a bit.

There is never a day where I like having AS or feel proud about it. I hate every part of it, but the days where I do feel happier are days where I have blocked it from my mind, and today's one of the days where I have managed to block it from my mind. If I spend a day doing something I enjoy where people aren't judging me and I'm accepted and included and we're having a good laugh, then that really makes a big difference.