does it sound like i'm a burden?

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for a long time now, i've been feeling so ashamed and depressed because of it, and so frustrated, i just dont know what to do.
i left home when i was twenty two, rented a lousy one room apartment on my own, on slight occasions asked my parents to send me money. they did.
i came home when i was thirty one and stayed at my parents' apartment for a few months and then they bought me a house, which i didnt ask them to do.
now here's the thing:
my brother, sister in law and three nieces live about seven minutes walk from my house.
i've babysitted the girls, for free of course, for quite a few years every saturday night when their parents went out, and once a year i'd sleep over for a week or two because they went on vacation.
during the thirteen and a half years i've been living here, in the apartment my parents bought, i've asked my brother to fix the lamp every time it went out, which is once every few months or so. for a year i've used their internet for emails once a week because i didnt have an internet, and i'd use it for half an hour or an hour.
i've asked my brother to do things on the computer because i dont know how.
i pretty much ask his help once every four months or half a year. dont know. never asked for money, though.
so, does it sound like i'm a burden? tell the truth. i learned to get an electrician to change the lamps. they're noen lamps and i thought electricians wouldnt do that because the job's too small, but found out they do, and i have my own internet now. but just the fact that i've asked for help so many times cant be erased, and i hate to think i was a burden.
put yourself in his shoes and tell me if you'd mind. we always got along great and his girls love me like a second mother.
any feedback would be appreciated, because i hate myself and wish i'd bought my own place but i couldnt afford it, and wished i didnt ask my parents for money, but i was in such a horrible financial situation, and it's all my fault, because i didnt go to college and now it's too late age nid forties, to start a career, because no one would employ me. but i thought i was stupid and couldnt make it through college, and now i know i'm not stupid at all and understand myself better because i know i have asperger and if i had known earlier maybe things would be different, i dont know.

No, it sounds like you are appreciated.

You don't sound like a burden at all.

As for not being able to start a career at forty, I've been assured by various people that you actually can.

no burden situation here. sounds like healthy give and take.

What everyone else said. That's what families do, help each other.

You helped people all the time unselfishly. How did that make you feel? I am sure it makes others who help you feel the same way. Be sure that you thank them for it. Understand that by allowing others to help you, it makes them feel closer to you, which is what they are trying to do. You are lucky to have people so unselfish in your life. You are not a burden at all. These are minor helps and gives your family a good reason to visit and chat with you. These are things you don't have the capacity to do for yourself.

I got my GED at 30 years old, my first degree at 39 and my third degree at 44. There is a lot to be said for maturity and perseverance. It means that you still can learn and have the capacity to "think young". You can stress the fact that you know what you want and are willing to do what it takes to get it. Employers will see that you still have at least 20 more years of employment and can apply maturity and stability that younger graduates can't. At the very least, getting a degree later on in life will help you keep sharp as you get older and improve the job you have now. Every class I took somehow related to the job I was working at the time and eventually got me promoted whether it was at the job I was working or better offers from outside. I am now financially independent because of all I learned in school. (I am not wealthy, but I don't need a job to be comfortable and pay my bills.)

Trust me, an education will never be worthless.

No, I don't think you are a burden.

Family is supposed to help family and that is what you and your family appear to be doing, and there doesn't seem to be any excessive requests, exploitation, or failure of reciprocation.

Your parents bought you the apartment of their own free will. Some parents like to do things like that for their children because they can, and so they don't have to worry about their children being homeless or taking on financial burdens.

Using someone's internet connection on occasion is usually not an inconvenience to them. The only time it might be is if you are using their computer to access the internet when they need to use it, or if you are engaging in an activity which makes a noticeable impact on their connection speed. Usually only video streaming and live gaming will cause such impacts.

As for your brother fixing the lamp, he probably doesn't mind doing it. However, if it keeps breaking, he's probably not doing it right.

Who is "he?" Your brother or the electrition?

That said, I've had a few thoughts.
Believe it or not, accepting people's kindness can be a hard thing to do. I've had it. But on the other hand, you might be sensing that something isn't right. So hard to tell the two apart...
It's never too late to go to college. But that doesn't sound like the substance of the issue.
Assuming there isn't anything else stopping you, you can always learn how to do things you don't know how to do.

I feel the same way. I love my family and they bend over backwards for me. I just wish I could help them much more than just a simple thank you and a hugs and kiss. I appreciate everything from the bottom of my heart. But, I feel ashamed because they could use the money or do something nice for themselves. I know how you feel.

The only way to know is to ask your family. You may be anxious to, but you will feel better talking with them about it. All children are burdens, but it is a burden families carry out of love, care, and a sense of duty.

Your parents are probably worried about how you will take care of yourself when they can no longer (e.g. when they retire). Maybe you can get part time work or education to start moving forward.