Is it wrong?

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Hey,

I know the title is vague but I couldn't imagine a good title to put for something like this. Here is the short version of what I want to say:

Turns out my sister and most of her friends where molested by my step father as we grew up, I had no clue, My sister nor her friends ever told me or my mom or anyone besides the people in their inner circle. Sister and mom leave the house and leave me there due to financial instabilities, A year and some months go by and they have to come back lest risk being homeless. Sister knows that my step dad is sick yet enables him to do the same s**t to her again in exchange for stuff -.- Mom finds out and we leave again, this time for good. Homeless twice, now finally have our own house.

But here is the hard part, This man has never hurt me in any way, I came from an abusive family before him, He's the reason why I got into computers and everything technical, we share every interest when it comes to our ambitions in the computers and electronics related fields, and now all of a sudden I am supposed to hate him because my sister got molested by him and then continued to let it happen for favors.

I'm not trying to say it's her fault for being molested but the 2nd time that she came back home she KNEW how he is and still went up by him etc. (He's a hermit and never really leaves his room unless he's working) I find it very hard to hate a man that has been the closest thing I've ever had to a father (I don't know my own, and my mother is one of those people who think my having Asperger's syndrome is having 1 big excuse to be "weird").

Is it bad that I miss things the way they where when I was ignorant of him being horrible and I didn't have to change houses every couple months? I'm extremely uncomfortable living with my mom and sister as they are overly social (entertainers -.-) and often bring their "work" home with them. This whole situation makes me want to puke, I miss talking stuff that makes sense with my step dad I can still talk to him, but he seems sad and distant which I suppose he should feel.

It sounds like you are in a tough position. I know that abuse of any sort is wrong, and that it can be difficult to understand why someone would abuse another person. But people often have different aspects to their personality, and sometimes they have aspects that aren't pleasant or acceptable. I suppose that the question is, does that make them a bad person?

Is there anyone you can talk to about this? Or any website forums that might be helpful to you - I am sure there will be other people out there who have faced a similar dilemma.

My personal opinion would be that as you have a good relationship with your step-father, it would be a pity for you to lose that. Could you perhaps tell him that you miss how things were before you found out about your sister? That might just help to work towards restoring things between you and getting back to how they used to be.

I wonder, has your stepfather ever confirmed the abuse? If your sister went back for more, it could as well be that the whole incidents had been staged by her. Does not mean that i would take sides for a child abuser, though.

However, if the story your sister has told you is actually true, what exactly means when she says she and her friends have been molested? And her friends, none of them has ever talked to their own parents about these occurrences? Doesn't make much sense. Did you talk to members of this inner circle? If all you have is your sister's word, i would think she's lying to you.

You're old enough to make your own decisions incl. the people you're in contact with, and if i put myself in your place, i would not allow my sister or mother to take any influence because it sounds very much as though both have only used this man.

Keep your connection with him, no matter what they say, they don't take you seriously anyway, hence you're much better with your step dad.