Can an Aspie be a caregiver? Bad idea.....?

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Hi, im new here and i really like this website. i am a 44 year old aspie/hfa female who has gradually become a caregiver for my elderly mother. i feel this is a very bad idea and i am not equipped to be much of a caregiver. Does anyone out there have any advice about this topic? What am i supposed to do when she demands all of my time and attention and won't let me have any alone time? i get really stressed out. im currently unemployed and have to use my computer to do job searches online, and also to sell items on ebay, but she keeps consantly interrupting me even though she knows i am attempting to work online. She is very child-like. i have no children and therefore no parenting skills which would be useful in this case actually. i know it seems very selfish to feel this way but when i was little, she did not want to pay any attention to me and always made me leave her alone and now its the other way around, sort of. Very odd situation here, trying to remain emotionally detached from it but have run out of ideas. Would really like to know what would be the best way to cope. Thanks.

i was a caretaker for both my parents in their final years on earth, and with my father it was the same dynamic, he didn't want me, in fact he tried to legally wash his hands of all of us kids. but all my sibs moved away to different places 'cept for me [the youngest], and i didn't have any kids of wife of my own so it fell to me to be their caretaker. so it was a matter of taking care of somebody who didn't value me. both my parents thought i was ret*d and not worth much, but they eventually had no choice but to rely on me. i can only speculate on the karmic signifigance of this.

btw, welcome to our club, Chimera68

I'm also a caregiver for my aging mother (stroke survivor), and for my disabled wife (cerebral palsy & bipolar disorder). While it certainly isn't easy by any means, it gives me a sense of purpose (besides playing music that nobody else seems to like).

Seriously, there is absolutely no reason why an Aspie can't be a caregiver. There are times in life that being a caregiver for a family member is forced upon us, whether we like it or not. All anyone can do is give it their best shot, Aspie or not.

Agreeing with the point that she is socially needy, but only with me. She doesnt want to have any activities like hobbies, she only wants to watch TV and aggrevate me. She has no friends because her personality is very abrasive and she cannot interact right with people in public.

Also agreeing with the writer who said it's karma, the things she did when she was younger to me have a definite effect on our relationship now. I believe in fairness, but also in the laws of cause and effect, and I can see this very clearly, and its very ironic to have to deal with these circumstances now. She never let me grow up, and now that im an adult trying to help her, all she can do is critisise me for not acting grown up enough.

She is also a hypochondriac and insists on me giving her medical advice. That's dangerous, isn't it? Her latest ambulance ride was on Superbowl night, she overdosed on her blood pressure medication and almost stroked out, according to the ER doctor. I told the doctor I was functional autistic and he couldn't believe I was the only family member there with her. That was embarassing.