Fearing the possibility of AS.

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I went to speak with my high school counselor today, who I haven't seen in a couple of years. I asked him about the possibility of having Aspergers Syndrome, and he told me that I didn't have it, or rather that I showed a few traits, but not enough to be diagnosed completely. The only thing he attributed to me having AS, was my rigidity on certain subjects, that whatever I had deemed to be true was true, and there was no other alternative. But everything else, my ability to relate to other people's problems, the amount of empathy I showed in a somber situation, how I think before saying things that could be offensive, he said for the most part, I appeared very Neurotypical.

I've known the man for six years now, and four of those years were spent in the same room as me and the other students of the program, so I believe him when he tells me about how I acted. Not to mention he has dealt with multiple other students officially diagnosed with AS.

But still, I can't deny that I'm different than my peers, that I haven't fit in completely throughout my childhood and adolescence. Part of me welcomes the possibility, I've read multiple posts on these forums, and truthfully? I can relate to many of the social problems people with AS face, like I've walked in their shoes before. But there is the NT side of me that refutes my claim, the side of me that is open to all possiblities of the world, can see all avenues that can be taken, and can be a real social butterfly.

I've just hit the second decade of my life and I've never been more conflicted. I've taken 2 online tests for AS, and both of them say "You're most likely Neurotypical", with none of the answers fudged. but in both of the tests, I did show a slight level of aspie traits. Maybe even as an NT, I may need some help with my social skills, I guess pobody's nerfect.

I don't even know where I'm going with this, it just feels good to get my thoughts out there in the open with a community that doesn't show alot of bias and prejudice.

...Wow, I've never written this much before.

Hello again.

I understand what you're saying, because I've partially been there. While I certainly have more symptoms than you, I still have enough neurotypical qualities (I am very empathic with others, though now I realise this is partially learned, and pretty good at helping folks when they're upset) that I had my doubts, once.

For you, though, I think the label is relatively unimportant. You have Asperger's traits, and that means that you can look for support and assistance in places like this, as well as benefit from it (because lets face it, the upsides are great ). It is not so black and white as all that; you don't actually have to be one or the other. In many cases the label is a convenient way to explain a certain group of characteristics you have to someone else, rather than an actual meaningful thing to your own wellbeing — this is often the way I look at it.

You're allowed to be different, and you're allowed to be in a grey area. It sounds to me like you have the best of both worlds. Live it up!

Inyanook? You're pretty awesome. JTLYK

Warm and fuzzy overload! I actually came to the computer in a bit of a grump, then, and that made me smile. Thank you!

As are you! With an avatar like that, you could not fail to be. It's great that you're exploring and questioning these parts of yourself. Self-understanding is so important!