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I feel so guilty towards my grandmother. Needing advice

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Steven_Tyler77
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23 Apr 2012, 3:40 pm

My grandmother lives in a different town. She usually comes over for Easter and Christmas and I go over to her place for a week or two during the summer. I love her a lot, but I don't feel like spending more time with her. Normally, at home, I live with my dad, who has many Aspie traits too, and we are both two recluses. We interact during the meals and when we watch rock concerts together, but most of the time we go back to our own rooms and pursue our own interests. My grandma is an NT and she is hungry for affection. She quantifies affection in amount of time spent with her. She's always unhappy and says I don't love her. She can't understand what AS or ADHD are and she can't even conceive of me, her granddaughter, to be like this, so she always criticizes me for being different than others (mostly for my ADHD symptoms and for my AS traits). So we often end up fighting and that doesn't help the whole situation either.

I know I'm hurting her. I really do and it breaks my heart. But I simply feel like I need my time alone too...

What to do? Anybody in this situation? Any advice?


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Probably 75% Aspie, 25% NT... and 100% ADHD :)

Aspie-quiz results:
Aspie score: 138 of 200 / NT score: 78 of 200 => Very likely an Aspie.


mushroo
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23 Apr 2012, 3:52 pm

Cards, letters, photos in the mail.

People of our grandparents' generation did not grow up with text messages and email, they love going out to the mailbox and finding an envelope from a loved one. :)



Marcia
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23 Apr 2012, 4:08 pm

Mushroo's suggestion is a good one.

Make it a regular, scheduled event to send a card or note of some kind. If you're artistic, make a card for her.

Mark it in your diary or calendar and make the effort to get it posted. I'm sure that will mean a lot to her!



Steven_Tyler77
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23 Apr 2012, 4:18 pm

Wow. Such a great idea. I am a bit artistic indeed (moreso with writing, but I'm ok with painting too). She will love it, as she is passionate about letters. Thank you a lot!


_________________
Probably 75% Aspie, 25% NT... and 100% ADHD :)

Aspie-quiz results:
Aspie score: 138 of 200 / NT score: 78 of 200 => Very likely an Aspie.