My communication skills really stink

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Ok, so I was trying to explain my opinion of a certain novel and that the novel's subject matter was sick and that the novel's fans were sickos who have something wrong upstairs. But that's NOT how it came out. Instead, what it was was a sick tirade against women. I never intended it to say what it said. It was deleted for TOS violation, and justifiably so.

But this sort of thing seems to happen to me a LOT. I want to rant about Subject X, but the resulting rant is in fact this really twisted novel about large groups of people who I have just unjustly smeared. Then the mods of the forum it's posted on, and/or members of the group I have just smeared, start yelling at me for something that was never intended. In the end, everybody hates my guts, and is threatening my life and/or my membership on the forum, and I'm left thinking that I must be this sick, twisted demon who needs to die and go to hell ASAP.

I don't understand what is so wrong with me. I don't know anymore if I really AM a really hateful, black souled, ugly, demonic thing or not. My mom says I'm the best son she could have hoped for, but my dad always threatened to kill me when I was a kid for being a minion of Satan, and told me that the world wants to see me dead and would be happy if I killed myself. And maybe he is right. I really should just stop participating on online forums, and just lurk, or simply junk my computer.

I am worried that one day an assassin will walk up to me and blow my head off, and everybody around will cheer, and I'll be in hell without the slightest clue as to what happened or why. I can't help thinking that everybody justifiably wants me dead. I hate to go out unless I absolutely have to as to lessen my chances of being killed. But even as I stay home and surf the net, my chances seem to only increase. I have all my mail sent to a PO Box so nobody will figure out where I live and kill me. If I have to use a street address, I use my mom's. I try to avoid being seen outside, I don't want any of the neighbors to rat me out.

I still got a death threat, sent to the street address I use. Somebody was harassing me by having sick stuff sent to me. I don't know how this person got my address, but he did. I had to cancel a lot of stuff. I am really scared. I can't help but put my foot in my mouth, every single frikin time, and one of these days I'll be killed for it.

oh dear pezar,
perhaps if these are online discussions you could set yourself an x number of minutes rule: in other words write the response you want and then go away, make a cup of tea and then come back and re-read and edit the post. i know from other people that i come across as far more angry towards people (in real life and online) than i actually am.
i suspect that some of the way i come across is residual anger over unrelated (AS) situations that spill into everyday conversation.
it doesn't make me popular for sure... but being aware of how you come across and wanting to do something about it is the main thing. these things should by rights become easier with experience shouldn't they? (or at least i hope so!).
i make mistakes, i am still learning how to make apologies
regards,
sepia x

Well I don't know that talking a bunch of crap about fans of a book you don't like would have been permitted either. I mean how is someone a sicko who has something wrong upstairs for reading a book you don't like? I mean ripping on people is not a very good intention in general. But even so maybe you should re-read what you post and make sure its what youw want to portry before posting it

1. You are over reacting. There are no people out there trying to kill you. Have you talked with a psych doc about your paranoia? No offence, but I really think you should.

2. I agree with the other posters. When communicating with others that you don't agree with, try to be more diplomatic in the words with which you choose to speak and write your commentaries.

3. I also agree with the other posters on this next item. Take a time out after writing a post, before submitting it. Then reread it when you come back, before hitting the Submit button.

4. Finally, stop beating yourself up over this. Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes sometimes, including this sort of mistake. I have already posted over a thousand posts just to this site alone, and do occasionally get carried away. I am usually able to keep from posting my too strongly worded comments because I normally do read through my posts before submitting them. This allows me to catch typos, misspellings, add or make changes, and catch poor choices of wording like what you describe. It also lets me clean up posts that have gotten too rambling, or to off track in other ways.

Now, just calm down, and from now on do # 1-4 and that will help you a lot.

Most death threats don't advance to anything. I fully realize that is thin consolation. There was a history professor who got a death threat from a disgruntled grad student. And he was quoted as saying, I really hope no one else has to live under this, this is worse than I expected.

The letter to your home address is potentially serious.

Try and find some live advocate to put some of this weight on if possible, maybe a minister or priest (if you're a good agnostic like me, maybe a Unitarian minister), maybe a mental health professional (although frankly I have had pretty lousy luck with them), maybe an autism advocate, or even low-income advocate if that is also your situation.

And please continue to consider us at WP a resource.