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PastFixations
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06 May 2012, 5:27 am

First things first...
I am in the most darkest place I have been in EVER.
I was left alone in my home (still am btw.) and just carried on with what I was doing and due to a lot of what was said before being left on my own.
I literally thought of suicide... I broke down etc. and I went downstairs and picked a knife up... I noticed that when I did, I had no reaction or break down.
I didn't cut myself or anything but it felt so weird like I possibly could have done since I did not react to it.


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BuyerBeware
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06 May 2012, 5:35 am

That's pretty common, actually.

Please don't do it.

What's up??


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Declension
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06 May 2012, 5:54 am

Please, tell us a little bit about your story.



PastFixations
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06 May 2012, 5:54 am

Well considering I also have dyspraxia (I'd read up on that by the way.) which limits me as much if not more than my HFA.
Just feels like I'm a lost cause and can't really do anything to benefit anyone at this moment in time.
The problem is I know how to live due to the HFA but I can't function correctly because of the dyspraxia.
I don't really know anyone that has both like in my case.


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Sora: "My friends are my power."

Ventus: "I'm asking you as a friend. Just... put an end to me."


PastFixations
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06 May 2012, 7:04 am

Not on my own now but I tried saying to my mum but she doesn't want to hear it. Could be because I've said it before and it's only been words but now I think I'm being shut out.
Also which is true is that she has to do a lot... she wanted me to do things for myself which if you read about dyspraxia is not really possible for a lot of people.
That and HFA is just... I can't even explain what it is really like.


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Ventus: "I'm asking you as a friend. Just... put an end to me."


lundygirl
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06 May 2012, 10:07 am

This may sound obvious, but have you tried doing a search on WP for dyspraxia? There are other members here who also have dyspraxia, and you may find it helpful to read their comments etc on the subject.

As I understand it, it's not unusual for people with autism to have some level of dyspraxia - it can range from clumsiness to significant problems with co-ordination. So please don't feel that you are alone and have to cope with it on your own.



PastFixations
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06 May 2012, 11:11 am

lundygirl wrote:
This may sound obvious, but have you tried doing a search on WP for dyspraxia? There are other members here who also have dyspraxia, and you may find it helpful to read their comments etc on the subject.

Really? I haven't noticed anyone with dyspraxia on WP.


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hyperlexian
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06 May 2012, 9:47 pm

{{{{{awkward aspie hugs}}}}} sorry to hear you are having suicidal impulses.

if you search dyspraxia you'll see there have been threads about it, though nothing too recent. you could start a new thread about it and i'm sure people will come out of the woodwork.


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Chummy
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07 May 2012, 2:56 am

Well I don't know what dyspraxia is, but I definitely feel for you. Try to do activities by yourself, and call people. I mean if they're not calling you it doesn't have to mean they forgot about you. There might be other reasons for that. So try to initiate contact with people. I've been through that kind of thing and I sure as hell couldn't go through it without my friends.