I can't handle life anymore.

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I can't handle my life anymore. Ever since my grandparents died, I haven't recovered. Everyone can find someone where I live except me. Why is that? People need to know what I have gone through.
My parents divorced when I was 3 or 4, I lost a girlfriend the day before hers and my 2 month anniversary because she didn't know if she loved me anymore, lost my maternal grandparents two months apart after I turned 16, got diagnosed for a dreaded disease called Asperger's Syndrome when I was a preteen, have neurofibromatosis which causes me to be short, have failed to find love when all my other friends have, can't even remember to do my own chores and/or homework because of my loneliness, and to make matters worse, I am an only child. So, there are a lot of things that people don't know what I have been through. I just don't know what to do anymore. After my grandparents died, I failed a class for the first time in my life. I still graduated the year after I failed that class in high school, but I just don't know what to do. I saw so many of my friends who are still in high schools prom pictures and I said that if I don't get a girlfriend by the time my high school alma mater's prom comes, I am joining the Marine Corps. My mom doesn't want me to unless I gain 40 or 50 more pounds. I am 5'2" and weigh only 105 pounds. She says I will get killed in boot camp doing things that will make my heart explode. I have made up my mind. Since no one wants to date me, I am going to join the Marines whether my mom wants me to or not. I am sick and fed up with being single. I am just unable to think of what to do next. I am just at the end of my rope. I have contemplated suicide a lot for the past few weeks because of my friend, [edit: full name redacted by moderator], beautiful poofy pink prom dress. She is happily taken by a guy she has been dating for two years. I can't even date a girl where I live for more than a day. Why is that? Please help me find somebody to love me for the rest of my life. I don't know what to do anymore. Please help me.

You've had some rough circumstances. I feel for you.
Autism isn't a "dreaded disease" it's a disability/disorder.
If you're feeling suicidal, I encourage you to seek help. If you're feeling lonely, I encourage you to do some research and see if there are any social/support groups for autistic people running in your area.
Don't worry so much about dating,it's not the end all be all of companionship and it's not especially uncommon to be single at your age.
I would also suggest you look at some alternate life plans, not because I don't think military service can be a great option, but because if you have been diagnosed with ASD you don't meet the medical standards.

Last edited by DogsWithoutHorses on 15 May 2012, 3:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It is a dreaded disease to me. It has caused me to have short-lived relationships. I am in an Aspie group but doesn't help because all the guys in the group do drugs and I don't. I need to worry about dating because I don't know when I am going to die. I need help right now getting a girlfriend. Please help

I've never had a girlfriend so I can't help you there but I agree with DogsWithoutHorses that being in a relationship isn't the be all and end all of companionship. If you ever want to talk just PM me. This is just a suggestion; maybe you should consider what you're interested in and see if you can take a class in it or an apprenticeship. I'm sorry for your loss and I hope things improve for you.

It's not a disease, it's a disorder, this is a matter of definition, not how we feel about being autistic.
Are there any other groups in the area, do you have any special interests that might have a club or social group dedicated to it?
You don't need a girlfriend, you want a girlfriend, those aren't the same. There are more important things.
You're probably going to have to do some work on your suicidal ideation and feelings of loneliness before you will be able to be successful with dating.

moved from Love & Dating to The Haven