help!

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I've been thinking alot about the future lately, and it is really scaring me, i am afraid that when i grow up (i am twelve) that i will end up living alone, without a wife/ kids. but i don't want to be living with m family when i am 40 either. i am scared i will somehow screw up my life and get life sentence or be locked up in a wacky shack. i don't want to be working at a labor/ public job (e.g. waiter, factory worker) getting minimum wage, living in a sucky small apartment. yet i know that i need to get good grades or this future will come true. and the stress of keeping my grades up is taking a huge toll on my mental capacity.. it's really freaking me out!!

You're not the only one, alot of us people can think like that. I used to when I was that age and it scared me really thinking about it.

OK. Please explain a little about your situation? Does your family situation require you to get a job when you approach/reach adulthood? Are you struggling with your grades? Are you a normal school or some kind of alternative school? When I was twelve I have to that was probably about the time I started to worry about how I was "different" and how it would effect me in the long term. I only got diagnosed this year with AS (I'm 23). I struggled in and out of high school after missing large amounts of attendance in the late elementary school (especially the 8th grade) despite improving social status. My marks were OK except in math where they struggled due to the missed time, and in history which is my expertise. Eventually with tutors I was able to move forward faster, and the same in an alternative school which provided me with a friend.

I have learned of some other issues I have in addition to AS (and headaches, which I have long had), but currently I am working hoping to move out of the house into some sort of apartment or space soon.

Your only twelve, and you know what you are dealing with. Hopefully you will be able to plan ahead. I wish you the best of luck.

[EDIT: You don't have to respond to my questions if you don't want to. They might have come off as a bit too intrusive. I think actually some of the other responses somewhat might have provided more comfort then I was able to I think]

Squier,

You're coming into your teenage years and your emotions are going to all over the place. Try to remember that the presence of an emotion doesn't automatically mean that there's a corresponding reality.

Nobody knows what's going to happen. Life is what happens when you're making other plans (John Lennon said that, I think). At every stage of life, you can have horrors about the next one. And so you throw away the life that you are actually living now, because you're worrying about the future.

When I was a kid I was so worried that my mother might die. She wasn't sick or anything. Anyway, she did die - 40 years later. Look at all the worrying I wasted!

Do what you can about grades and stuff. Do your best always, then forget about it. Whatever you like, do it (follow your bliss) - it might lead somewhere. There's an even chance that your life will turn out wonderful. And if it doesn't, at least you'll be able to look back at these years and say "I had a great time."

You'll write your own future, and right now you are too young to even know what's best for you. Just stop worrying and do your best in school, it helps a lot. Don't get scared by what you read in this forum, there are millions of happy and successful aspies who don't post here because they are too busy enjoying life.

I did my GCSEs at a college, due to being home educated. Although I was 15 at the time, the course was mostly populated by people who were re-taking them for one reason or another. One of the girls there was 22 - she'd done badly at school, but wanted to be a lawyer so was re-taking her GCSEs so she could get on with the rest of the education she'd need. She was ten years older than you are now, yet still very young and setting off on a path that was making her happy. So don't feel that you have to get everything done now, this instant, or even as soon as the average person - the main thing to do is to keep yourself confident and happy and to have faith in yourself to follow the direction that appeals to you. Eventually you'll get what you want, and as Claradoon says, at the very least you'll be able to be happy in the meantime.

Another thing about the grades - there are increasing numbers of vocational courses you can do, so even if you're not academically inclined you can still get a good job. A lot of people start out in apprenticeships and end up in management positions in Admin, IT, Engineering, Construction, Carpentry, Plumbing, Electrics, Zookeeping ... well ok the last one is slightly obscure, but hopefully you get what I mean. And even if you're set on university, if your grades aren't as good as you hoped, there's nothing wrong with re-takes (I'm having to re-take two A-Level exams, along with a lot of other students). And then there's the thing where universities have placements left towards the start of term, so lower the requirements .... essentially, you'll do fine. Try not to stress.

Hopefully that wasn't too long and rambly ...

Not really related, but makes me happy to see so many people willing to help a complete stranger with their troubles. You should be proud guys.

I know!

Sometimes, that's just the way it works out!