I seriously cannot do this anymore

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I literally have no knowledge of losing $100 worth of clothing that my Mom bought for me, at School. She's yelling at me right now and says that I have to find them tomorrow when I have an AP English Test and a League Finals for my Track Meet. Then she berates me about me being so lazy, not caring about anything other than my computer, not having a job and unwilling to get one (I am attempting desperately to fill out a job application as I write this now), and saying that she works so hard for me (which she does, and I acknowledge it even if she cannot see me doing so), yet I never pay her back in any way.

I can never get through to my parents that I work so incredibly hard at School and yet come home feeling guilty at this point for wanting to relax. I can't deal with this misunderstanding, and I can't deal with my parents not being able to understand it from my point of view. In fact, it's probably my fault all along. I can't understand it from theirs, and I can never work hard enough no matter how hard I try.

I can't do this.

Here's an insight that I have only recently been able to come to: if someone doesn't bother to do something because they are lazy, they don't feel bad about not doing it. You are obviously broken up about your limits- you are not lazy.

This is probably the worst part about AS: to other people, you just look like you are lazy. In reality, AS people have tremendous problems with our executive functions. We know what needs to be done, we just can't mentally arrange all the processes to get it done.

Do you have an AS diagnosis? Or ADD/ADHD? Problems with executive function are common in these and other neurological conditions, and if you already have a diagnosis for one of those, you could perhaps try and educate your parents about executive dysfunction (the Wikipedia articles on them are pretty good).

If you don't have a diagnosis, maybe think about seeing a doctor to get one. I know that this is a big, scary step and I know it's not something done lightly. A lot of people on the forums are indifferent to official diagnosis, but if you have people who mistake your psychological differences for character flaws, then being able to point to medical literature might convince them to rethink their impressions of you.

As for the acute problems- the clothes can wait, you need to take care of your education, and be there for your team. Then you can figure out what happened to the damn shirts and pants. From your post it sounds like you and your parents aren't on the same page. I can relate- my parents think I'm lazy too because I can't keep my apartment clean and haven't gotten a girlfriend (which they attribute to my 'not putting myself out there'- ha!). Does your mom know how upset you are right now? You don't have to try and explain everything to her, but if you can at least convey to her how much this is affecting you, she might at least understand you aren't lazy.

We are all here for you, in any event. In the end, it's only cloth and zippers. What really counts is what's in your heart. I hope you feel better, and do well on your AP test.