No matter how hard you try, no matter how much you do the right things, Asperger's plus physical disability will kill your dreams.
Not Asperger's alone. I feel that I am okay and have adapted socially. But apparently I have such bad stress that my body can't handle it... especially when it is not the best body to begin with. My jaw is jacked up for no particular reason so that I can't function on a daily basis--can't get a job if I'm going to be sick. Also, my feet don't like humidity or cold, and stress does not help.
I have taken anti-anxiety meds before, but they would just strip me of my emotions and make it even harder for me to relate to and interact with other people. It is hard to keep the patient-doctor feedback going when you are not even sure what you are feeling. I have tried relaxation techniques, but they did the opposite of relax me.
The things is... I have obviously had Asperger's my whole life, even though I've only just discovered the diagnosis (self-diagnosed), and only now are these physical things happening that a lot of doctors like to write off as purely influenced by anxiety... but my anxiety levels are lower than they often have been in my life, and I have no way not to have ANY anxiety, and there are plenty of people who are more stressed than I am, and they don't have these problems. I really don't want to become a guinea pig for the pharmaceuticals companies if there is something I can do that's physiological or at least natural. I wish this crap would all just go away already so I can pursue my dreams...
17 May 2012, 11:56 pm
