I just can't win anymore...

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My parents are starting to not understand my condition anymore. Actually, they never really have in the first place. They are starting to call me lazy because, for one example, they want me to clean the junk off my dresser but I'd rather write the story I'm trying to get done. It's because I'm in my daily routine and I can't just go and do something without breaking my routine.

I'm not TRYING to be lazy either. It's because of routine and not wanting to get out of that routine. I can't explain that to them because it just goes over their heads. They never understand the whole thing with my routine. When I'm in the middle of something, I don't want to be told to take care of a mess I forgot about ten minutes ago because then i end up losing track of what I was doing in routine mode.

Does anyone else have parents who just don't seem to understand this? I might feel a little better if I wasn't the only one having to deal with this...

I always wondered after I moved out about this. Why my parents worried so much about MY room being messy when I fully respected common areas and even made attempts to help clean them. MY room MY place. Unfortunately there are some people who are anal about appearances.

I've always been a "it's a project" person too - and I've also always been a person who CANNOT put stuff "away" becasue then I totally lose track of it. Out of sight IS out of mind.

What I eventually realized would suit both worlds was this: Many many open bookshelves... with drop curtains over them.
This way I can have my stuff/projects as visible as I want them (within reason - they still need to move to the shelves or the desk) and yet I can make the room presentable for the anal retentives I live with.

Ask your parents if you can make this kind of compromise BUT! be sure you keep your end of the bargain and drape off your project shelves whenever you plan to leave your room for over ten minutes, or whenever your family is going to be passing your open door or coming into your room. It's best to just uncover ONE shelf/case at a time (the one with your current project).

I've tried that though and they don't seem to understand it being a routine thing. They don't understand the strict routine AT ALL for me to really explain it. D: I mean they always say that when they do things for me and want me to go see, I get upset by it and then they say things like, "You don't appreciate anything...". They know i like to write too and they know I do alot of writing yet they can't understand how my routine works. They never have and when i explain it they are all, "that's just an excuse...". I'm not trying to be lazy. It's my mind that puts up this big warning sign and then next thing I know, my anxiety is through the roof and I'm having a meltdown... then they have to critizicse that saying I need to stop acting like a two year old... they just don't understand anything anymore.

I've even told my mom about my loud voice and she understood for a while... now she's back to yelling at me about lowering my voice again. Things like this don't last with my parents because they go right back to the typical lecturing of things they KNOW are the autism... yet they don't want to admit it so they lecture me about things that I just can't seem to help.

Yes, this has always been a problem with me. I am in my 50s and until 6 1/2 years ago lived with various relatives. I have always had this problem with them. It has always been a source of conflict, frustration, and misunderstanding. Now that I live alone, I don't often have to go through this any more. My life is far less stressful and much more peaceful now. I don't want to live with any one ever again.

Well, that would be harder for me. Since with routine and such, I wouldn't be able to fend for myself and whatever. My parents are afraid of what will happen to me when they can no longer take care of me. They've tried getting me life skills support but the teacher was an ignorant b***h (mind my langunage) and didn't understand my disability.

Plus, I have an irrational fear of the stove because I hate being burned and I also hate heat and all that. Basically, I am afraid of getting burned and such. >_<

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Last edited by OliveOilMom on 25 May 2012, 3:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I want to be a writer someday though. Plus if I'm not writing, it really causes my anxiety to skyrocket. It's the only way I am able to express myself. Anyway, i want to have one of my stories published someday so that's why I've been working on getting a good story written. So yeah, in a way, it is pretty important for me to get something done.