helpless situation

Post Reply New Topic

I feel that the world is evil. I don't know how this could have happened or why it continues to happen, I don't know how this sort of thing can happen in this world. I am so scared and I don't even know how to talk about it without feeling worse to the point I want to kill myself right now. I have been unable to stop crying for days now because I have come to the point that I don't feel there is any hope at all left. I seem to have severely misjudged in my interpersonal relations. I am so scared and I don't understand how such a thing can happen in this world. I can eat so little in a day now that I feel weak all the time and cold all the time even though it's hot weather and have lost 20 pounds in the past less than two months. I don't want to believe that the care that I thought was where I thought it was is not there, I don't want to believe it, I can't understand it, I've read all I can to try to understand it but it upsets me so deeply I can't accept it without losing all hope. But I don't feel I have any hope left at all, I wake up and I can't believe it, I want to be unconscious again because I think it must be a mistake that the facts revealed themselves to be what they are, and I go through the day with the urge to do so many bad things to myself that will make it so that this is over with.

You appear to be in a very severe depression, that is beyond your own unassisted ability to cope with. It's time to seek professional help. Make an appointment with someone right now. If you don't have insurance and can't afford it. You can apply for Medicaid, but in the mean time, you can go to the hospital emergency room for help. BY LAW they have to help you even if you can't pay. They can make arrangements for you to pay on installments, or they can bill you later, so you can pay later after applying for Medicaid coverage, or to get financial assistance for medical bills from some charitable organization. Also, some hospitals have their own charity care plans. In the meantime they can start treating you right away, because the law says they can't refuse to treat someone in need just because that person can't pay.

It's a fact of life that not everybody is nice, and that sometimes people present themselves falsely as nice, when in fact they aren't nice. Apparently you ran into someone like that. We all run into people like that at times, but most people are okay, and some are really nice. You need time to get over the hurt that was done to you, but in the mean time get some help, NOW.

Please try and forgive yourself for trusting someone, who in retrospect, you should not have trusted.

And perhaps as something you can do right now, try and help one person a day here at WrongPlanet. And that might work for a while and then you'll need a pause or have had your fill, and that's okay, take a pause as needed and then come back and do more good work. And you do good work right now by sharing what you are comfortable sharing.

I agree with questor that depression is a medical condition, often with both a situational and biochem component. It's a downward spiral, but if you can get either one going in upward spiral, can help to turn things around. Can see either psychiatrist or regular doctor like internist, either one can prescribe antidepressant. The hard part is that the first antidepressant is not necessarily the one which will work. And sometimes also important to step down from antidepressant in phases even if it doesn't seem to be working.

And you can do all this. It's just that in a respectable way, it's trial and error.

You might need to visit the doctor or even the emergency room twice. And that's okay, too. That's the way the game is played and won.

And please continue to use us here at WP as a resource, entirely at times of your own choosing.

Last edited by AardvarkGoodSwimmer on 27 May 2012, 12:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

That does not sound good at all, but honestly it's kind of close to how I feel in some ways...except for me sleep is no escape, I just get tormented by disturbing memories mixed with random things that make no sense or things that feed my paranoia. I mean it's like I am trying to make the best of hell. Anyways was your life better before? and do you want to return to that? If possible you could talk to a therapist or something, though I understand it can be hard to find any.

Anyways I recommend possibly looking into getting help for this...I mean I can't say what issues exactly you are having but, the way you've explained it reminds me of myself...thing is i don't want you to learn the hard way like I did that it gets much worse if you try to ignore it the earlier it's treated the more likely you are to recover. So try not to over-stress yourself and try and get some help is my recommendation...but i understand difficulties in accessing help. But whatever you do don't bottle it up inside like I do.

Sweet Pea hugs.

I also feel that the world has become more evil over the years. There are times that I'm out when I shouldn't be, when I'm thinking that way. I feel as though I've hit a brick wall. I keep pushing through the evilness and the poison that today's world is infested with. I should either just stay home or go to Stepping Stones, put my headphones and listen to The Kinks when I'm having thoughts of that nature. I saw a bunch of society teens walking across the parking lot and I heard a bunch of cars with rap blasting out of the speakers and I got myself home as fast as I could, this morning. I should stay indoors when I'm like that, unless I'm doing the parking lots at work. I'm still able to work when I'm like that, because I love to work.

Hang in there Cloudlayer ... "this too shall pass." When you're that low, it is a sure thing that there are brighter days ahead. Lots of us have been right there.

She/he's right. It's not about depression really. This world is f****d up!! !!

In some ways its outright evil, in other ways its a beautiful world. But however you look at it, it is what it is and you have to deal with it.

Some might not have the resources to deal with it: i mean emotional support or financial security- so how can pills solve these issues?

Pills can't do a damn thing for financial problems, housing problems, employment problems. At least not in any immediate or major way.

It's war out there if you haven't got money or supportive family. But it could be worse. People have lived through real war, famine, genocide. Maybe we will have to some day, who knows.

Pills can give you more serotonin if your brain is not making enough.

The tricky part is that the first pill may not be the one which works (and also sometimes important to phase down gradually even if the medication doesn't seem go be working).

So what it gives serotonin, when others life sux.
We need some suicide medications, less painful and more effective.

Modifying brain chemistry would be how less painful and more effective medication would have to work, too. Probably ... it would influence serotonin, too.