Burst out during maniac depressive phase

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couple of years ago i was going through maniac depressive phase and i lost my cool
and bursted out at my mother in law and father in law
i quit talking with my mother in law for years after that and she also stopped coming
here.

once the depressive phase got over i realized what i had done and there was no going
back and changing things

on the human emotional scale i was somewhere in on the scale of 8 of anger
i was short of 2 rank in murdering someone i was so angry

but now i look at things from different perspective i even invited my father in law home
but they are not ready to come.

i don't know what to do......

I seem to be going through a manic depressive stage right now, and I find I keep lashing out for no reason. It happened on Friday evening, when my brother was getting ready to go out. I yelled horrible things at him that I didn't want to go out with them because they're all extroverts and I'm an introvert and so nobody will like me, and I called my cousins a few bad names for being normal. I didn't mean it, though, I just said it out of pure anger and frustration, then I started hitting myself in the head and calling myself worthless and unlikeable, and I even tried breaking my nose but then had control over myself because I suffer with my sinuses enough, without having a broken nose, and also I felt sorry for my nose because it's not my nose's fault that I'm mentally abnormal and can't mix with my peers, even though I really, really want to.

I haven't really got much advice to offer, I can only relate to you. I feel very down about myself at the moment, and the only cure for this is mixing with other people who are in a similar mindset to me, and find it hard to mix with others, rather than mixing with extroverted NTs who seem happy in themselves and are able to mix around. Those aren't really the types of people I ought to be mixing with at all, unless they are nice enough to really like me for who I am and go out of their way to specifically include me in their social activities. Otherwise, it's not worth it.

So do you know what you were actually depressed about, or was it just about life? Because the only way to defeat depression is to do things that you enjoy, around people that like you for who you are and are similar to you, and you will feel better and not so alone.
With facing your mother-in-law and father-in-law again, that can be pretty awkward. I've been in that situation before, bursting out in front of people then feeling embarrassed afterwards in case they might think you're mad or scary. Perhaps just telling them that you were going through a depressive stage when you lashed out, they should understand that because I've known NTs who have had nervous breakdowns and have even laid on the floor for a couple of days and done other strange behaviours like that, then having to face people again when they are through their breakdown, especially those who might of seen them in such a state.

I have bipolar so I know what it feels like. I have blown up on my mother in the past but she always taught me
to do so if truly necessary. She taught me to never hold it in and even though we took time to cool off after that.
A few days later all was forgiven because she really understood my symptoms.
All you can do is offer to reconcile and wait for them to get over it.
If they truly have compassion for your disorder they should let it go.