How do I defend myself?

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My family is very disappointed in me. I have no desire to go to college and after many years of trying (in my own eclectic fashion) to do something my dreams have become more and more mundane to the point where the highlight of my life will be the release of a new video game. I work a job with minimal pay and no prestige and have absolutely zero talents. I'm going over to visit them as part of a vacation and I'm wondering how I justify what I've done with myself all these years. Though I feel how I've turned out isn't entirely my own doing I don't want to blame them should a discussion about me crop up. So how do I defend myself while remaining neutral?

What do you mean by abselutely zero talents?

Probably not entirely true, but it might be true that you have not
1) explored your talents
2) are hampered by social "things"
3) lack confidence

Anyways, you are not that old, you have lots of time to do other things with your life.

lol i am kinda in the same boat. I am not to sure what to do now. have some ideas but not sure. I would say maybe look into college for the sake of a better job and life possibly. It is all up to you.

I think the best way to defend yourself in this sort of situation is to provide a balanced assessment of what you have been doing. If you could have worked harder or more effectively, admit to it, but also don't run yourself down because you haven't achieved some hard-to-attain dream. When you are young, it seems like you should be able to achieve worldly success much faster than is realistic. Parents who worry about you might pepper you with questions, trying to "solve your problem." They may be too impatient for you to succeed and they may not recognize that you might be the sort of person who learns slowly and deeply.

Another way to deal with people trying to help is for you to let them give you advice. Listen to what they have to say and if any of it is useful, remember and use it. But if you actively do not let people offer advice, they will be more likely to pester you even harder. In my experience, I have found I can get through some unpleasantness fastest by not fighting it. Just thank them for their comments and when the opportunity arises, shift the conversation to something else.

I'd suggest telling them "I'm not interested in discussing that" if they bring it up. If they keep on trying to talk about it, even after you have said that, say "It's not your problem, don't worry about it". Remind them that you said you aren't interested in discussing it. If they keep on, even after that, bring up something about them that they don't want to talk about.

Yeah, I'm pretty much crippled by depression and there's nothing I can do about it. I can't afford medication or a trip to therapists. I don't think they'd help me anyway, I've noticed I'm only capable of doing things if someone holds my hand through it. Literally telling me exactly where to go and what to do, but I haven't had that in my life, nor is that a realistic thing to expect to begin with. But that's why I'm able to do such menial jobs, they give you a task, and you do it. Nothing confusing or overwhelming about it.



Like I said, my "dreams" are nonexistent at this point. My only assessment is that I moved away, I work a basic job, and live in poverty. I really don't know how to spin that into something balanced.



I'll try stonewalling, although I'm not going to bring anything up about their faults. I need to stay neutral with them at the very worst because I already don't keep in touch with them as much as I used to.



I'll try that too.

Another situation I need to deal with is that they feel they know what's best for me and want me to come back and live with them so I could go to college and get a better life for myself, but if past experiences are to paint a realistic picture I'd end up going back there, staying, and then not having any actual help unless I initiated it. I don't know how to initiate. They never pestered me about anything. I didn't get my driver's license, they didn't press the issue. I never took my SAT, they couldn't care less. I only do things if I'm backed into a corner or am forced into it, they've never forced me to do jack.

Now that I'm older it just feels like I'll go there on vacation and this will be a constant issue. Maybe I'm overreacting but I don't know how their opinion of me has changed.

Well let me put it this way, if you live on your own and your parents aren't helping you out at all financially you have absolutely NOTHING to defend yourself upon. It's your life and nobody can judge you on that. If they don't approve of the way you live then too bad for them because you're an adult and you're independent now. You make your own choices and your own life, nobody else does.

true that.

Sweet Pea hugs

Good advice, except I would just threaten to bring up the subject they don't want to talk about, not actually bring it up. "I don't want to talk about this. You probably don't want to talk about ______. Notice I never bring that up? That's because I respect you enough that I don't talk about stuff I know you don't want to talk about. Do you see where I'm going?"