grief

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I've been on a bit of a rollercoaster over the past week. Mostly downs but some surprising hysterical ups that me and my friends have all experienced. But it kinda feels like I've got all my grief out of the way. I don't feel as sad anymore. My friend is still alive but he is going to pass very soon so we're all kind of in limbo. But is it normal to feel a bit more okay after quite a few days of utter despair? It kinda feels like I've gotten over it a bit. But I feel guilty for feeling like this. I'm still thinking about my friend non stop. Like I've been listening to really sad songs and stuff. But I'm no longer always on the verge of tears. Is this normal?

I'm sorry to hear that your friend is so sick.

I don't think there is any such thing as normal when it comes to grief and coping with death. I think your reaction sounds fine, and I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about. You may find that your feelings change again once your friend has passed away, or they may not. Whatever happens, don't feel guilty about it. I'm sure that's not what your friend would have wanted.

Your behavior sounds okay. It's normal to feel intense grief or numbness when first learning about a friend or relatives serious injury or illness. This can last for a while, but eventually the body/brain start to reset back to a more normal mode. There will still be some grieving feelings and thoughts, but they won't be as intense. My mother was in the hospital for 5 weeks before she died. About a week before she died, we had a conference with the docs about her situation, and what to finally do. She was gradually dying, and they could no longer keep her there, on her Medicare and Supplemental, due to regulations or something. We had to decide on whether to unplug, or have her go into some sort of hospice or medical based nursing home, that could have been anywhere in the state, not necessarily the closest one, or to bring her home to die. We opted to bring her home. Once the decision was made I really lost it for a while. It took a couple of days to make the arrangements, but then my mother ended up dying in the hospital a short time before the transport crew arrived to bring her home.

There is no need to feel guilt. You are still sad over what happened to your friend, and about the fact that he will probably not make it. Grieve your own way. That is the right way for you. And remember, it can be different each time, because each relationship we have is different.

yeah it sounds around normal. Sorry to hear about this all i can say is make all the memories you can while you still can. Look at it as a second chance to do some things you and him havent done.

Sweet Pea hugs