NT Aspie friend seeks advice

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To begin with, let me apologize if I have posted this in the wrong area. I'm new to the forum.

I am a mid-twenties NT female who has become close to a 62 year old male co-worker. We have a grandfather-daughter sort of relationship and occasionally socialize outside of work. As I have gotten to know this man, I have come to believe he has Asperger's. He fits every single benchmark, almost stereotypically. He has not been diagnosed. He often muses on the difference between himself and others, particularly that he is unable to control himself or "catch a break" in life. He has meltdowns at work and recognizes, to a small extent, the impact they have had on his career. He expresses frustration that he never had a girlfriend and talks at length about his difficulties maintaining friendships. He feels out of place and is often angry at the world. He is blatantly unable to see the effect that his behavior (lengthy monologues, the meltdowns) have on his social situation. (I say that recognizing that NTs have a responsibility to try to understand those who are not NT, and fully acknowledge that people in this man's life have failed to do so.) He is also subtlety bullied at times, although he seems to take this as joking between friends. This is by no means a comprehensive list of his "symptoms", but the things I have cited lead me to believe he is depressed. I have noticed he is becoming more and more unwilling to travel outside of his neighborhood and seems progressively more scared of the world, almost. He has no family or friends to speak of.

I would like to discuss Asperger's with him and see if he would be willing to be tested. I think learning about Aspies and finding a supportive community would help him feel less alone and out of control. I think learning about Asperger's would help him answer questions about himself and may help bring him a sense of peace.

I post this seeking guidance from people with Asperger's and/or NT people who love Aspies. Would this be an appropriate step to take? Or would I be wiser to let sleeping dogs lie? I don't want to offend him, but I do honestly worry about him, especially as he ages alone. I regret he feels his life has been a hard, arduous slog, and would like for him to have an easier go of things. I have no other experience with non-NT people, so I'm not sure how to proceed, or if I even should.

Any guidance or suggestions would be appreciated.

If he has a computer and internet connection then feel free to encourage him to join WP. Tell him he won't be judged here, he can vent his problems and frustrations, and he'll be in familiar company.

I would suggest trying to start a discussion about AS. Ask him if he's heard of Aspergers or autism & try to explain a little about it to him & then suggest that he does a little research on it & check out WP. I would hold off on suggesting he gets tested because it's a LOT harder to diagnose adults with it than kids & it probably won't make much of a difference in his life if he has a diagnosis on paper or if he just thinks he has it. The only way I think an official diagnoses would really help would be if he could get some kind of special accommodations at work(that would depend on what kind of work he does) or if he is having other health or mental problems that he might consider disability for

I dont think you should ask him to get tested, I think that you should attempt to open a dialouge about AS and suggest that many of the symptoms he is describing sounds similar. Then you could suggest he look up this website and see if he can relate. My philosophy of wrong planet is that you dont have to have AS in order to get help from here.
A bit of a fusion of the previous posts i guess

Thank you all for your time. I took your suggestions and discussed Asperger's with him and talked to him about this website. He was very receptive and seemed excited to learn more. I appreciate your input.

Sweet Pea hugs

You are a good person and more valuable to your friend than you can even imagine.