Grandfather with Alzheimers got his leg amputated yesterday

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The last 4-5 years, my grandfather has been at different homes. They have told us, his family, that it's better if we don't come to visit him, because it is upsetting him for days after a visit. He is better off without us coming to visit, they say.

I have never visited him since he moved to one of those homes, because I just know I wouldn't be able to hold my tears back and that it would just upset him since he wouldn't recognise me, nor would he understand why I cried.

Yesterday he had his leg amputated, so now he has lost his mind AND his ability to take those long walks he enjoys so much. He has been a working man all his life, with a very fit body, and now he is in the hospital with only one leg left, and no memory of his life..

I have no questions, I just needed to share. Thanks.

I am very, very sorry to hear that. I can't even imagine what it must be like to have a loved one with Alzheimer's. My thoughts are with you and your family.

My grandmother had Alzheimer's for several years before she died. I never did go to see her. I heard all sorts of disturbing things from my mom and sister (who had seen her). She wasn't acting like herself and didn't remember people. I just couldn't bring myself to see her like that.

Thanks for the sympathy and letting me know others behave similar given a situation like this. I sometimes feel like I'm an empathy-less robot for not going to visit him.