My Life Ain't Worth S*** Now!

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Yes. I really do not think it will ever be the same. I've been feeling agitated on a daily basis and life just seems bland. I've been stuck at my family's house and it is very cluttered, boring and clammy.

I sometimes have to call flat 1 next door to where I lived if I need to speak to a senior for example, but if they sense I am kicking off, they always say they cannot offer any remarks about it, or they usually say something equally as annoying, such as "this is above my pay level" because they cannot be involved in my affairs any longer. They did however get me a social worker appointed. And I think Cathy the boss signed away my lease, but she expects me to still sort out the rent arrears. It could be I will do this and then be thrown out anyway.

Well, I have court again at 9:30 and I think they want me placed on curfew with a tag, as an alternative to jailing me. I've also been trying to get in touch with an advocate to file a formal complaint against Autism Initiatives in Edinburgh, but the advocacy people have told me that they cannot insert themselves into court business, thus I could end up waiting ages.

If the court defer my case, it means that one, I cannot get an advocate and two, I cannot re-enter my flat. Assuming it is still my flat after all this drama, I will have been away from it for nearly a year should I even get back inside.

Apart from all this annoying grief, I have had my rent for the flat suspended for months. I am owe the boss quite a lot of money, but I had it paid via the Council. I have to see a welfare rights guy on Monday, but seriously - I feel really angry. I've been away from that flat for so long (since July, in fact) and maybe I should kiss it goodbye. Those support workers don't give a damn about me any more anyway. If I send them emails, they ignore everything I say, unless it is to do with sorting out my finances or something along the lines of asking for help. They don't care otherwise.

My mother and my wee sister recommended I get another flat and support agency, but my heart just ain't in it. I feel I am too drawn to them, because before all this had happened, they were sort of good company and cheery. It is hard to just disengage from that. It takes guts.

It's a bad time.

I don't know enough about your situation to offer meaningful advice but am sorry you are going through such a rough patch. At least you seem to have supportive family members who care about your well being and that is something to be thankful for.

Calmly consider the options available and discuss with someone you trust such as your mother so you can see what is your best interests. I have no idea why the court should want to place you on a curfew with a tag: is this related to the rent arrears issue?

I know it's stressful but trust you'll be able to work through these difficult times and recommend you try with your family's help to find a suitable social worker, health professional, autism specialist or local council representative who is prepared to give you meaningful assistance.

No, it's due to this "EPIC" disaster of a case, w/ Sara and Joanna who used to be my caregivers. Because I kept on being arrested, etc, for breaking my 'bail terms', they deferred it already and they know I am obsessed. They could have jailed me, I guess. But they may think that won't be very suitable so the curfew idea should hopefully just be temporary, but I don't know anything yet.

The flat I was in is supported housing with staff using flat 1 as an office, you see, so it means the court have not allowed me to be there since last summer due to the issues with those two women. And I was also in jail twice last year on remand.

I do have to find the will power to move on, but it keeps going around in my head that I got screwed, etc. I'm not totally innocent, though. I did not act very mature, but it was hurtful being told lies and then not getting another chance. One of the women is Hispanic. She can be seen here in this link, as I think putting her picture directly up here would not be allowed.

https://www.facebook.com/Rcameronreddri ... =1&theater

We talked about the workers in this thread for a number of months.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/forums/viewt ... p?t=268075