Im sad ive lost my friend and at the same time relieved

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Prior to Chloe having a boyfriend things went really well we were getting along really well spending time together, having a lot of staying at each others houses, helping each other comforting each other etc. He and to a lesser extent she (after she has movd into my place) kept pressuring me into joining in their activities (walking around naked, doing a threesome etc) they had sex in the next room and told me about it, touched each other in front of me and even until recently Chloe has been grabbing all my private parts breasts, bottom etc without my permission, Dylan also walked around naked with a hard on and things like that totally and absolutely inappropriate. I kept saying no and kept saying no until eventually given in influenced if pressured enough I gave in (in a minor way). She then backed off and said it (the sex) wasn't what she ever wanted anyway. I was hurt, confused, upset and angry over the whole thing and me and her fought a lot since then and her boundaries have still been blurred her saying she loves me, grabbing me, wanting "sleepovers" etc. My biggest and main concern is how sad i am about losing our friendship (It has unfortunately been ruined by predominantly Dylan) yes I have made mistakes yes I could have handled some things differently but for the most part despite what happened I still put up with him coming around all the time, a lot of his inappropriate behaviour and asked things nicely as often as I could (many have said given all that's gone on they would not have) but like everyone we have a breaking point as happened one day after my asking nicely and getting nowhere and then him taunting me and my family. I feel that Chloe wasn't very loyal if it were me and a friend did something to another friend like Dylan did and continued to do until the end (the taunting etc) to me I would have got rid of them a long time ago and she hasn't. I have feelings for Chloe we were close. I know realisitically that she wants a boyfriend and thats fine however if she were to get another bloke without the baggage. The lack of loyalty adds to the hurt I am sad still am because being asperger's friends are not easy to come by.I don't blame Chloe as much as I do Dylan but none the less its hurtful no one wants to be rejected or used as I was and have been. As I said at the time what he did was not only inappropriate it was illegal and not fun in anyway pressuring people is called sexual assault by coersion.

The issue that broke things sure in the scheme of things was small but given the tension simmering snowballed into something larger. Dylan has absolutely no life skills I left my precious pride and joy Tigger in C and Ds care he is my best friend being aspie and he also has urinary tract issues. Chloe. was in hospital briefly getting a dressing changed. Dylan did not check the cats water bowl and I got home their litter tray was gross and they had no water or food, there was off milk, butter and food all over the house, stuff all over the lounge, dishes piled up and an ant infestation as well as the curtains closed.

I am sorry she has been in hospital that's awful (was only there very briefly). However I was upset and angry it was 32 degrees and hot I left Tigger in their care given the circumstances I was in and she rightly given what happened asked Dylan a 20 year old adult to do a simple task. Cats dehydrate very quickly in this weather and it will make his cystitus worse and other possible health complications he is my pride and joy and I trusted them. All Dylan needed to do was say I am sorry ill try better next time I would have said thats ok and dropped it. I am a grown woman and if he cannot do simple tasks Im sorry that is not my problem nor should it be I don't run a kindergarten I run a house. I had a right to be upset and angry with how he chose to act and her jumping to his aid showing a lack of loyalty again I only got upset when provoked.. He didn't say sorry he went off like a kid accusing me and calling me names.

The worst thing is that even though C and D have broken up now the damage by his inappropriate and unacceptable behaviour ruined mine and Chloe's friendship even she says that. Chloe acknowledges he was wrong and inappropriate. I now live on my own again and have done for 6 months I tried to do the adult thing and give Chloe a birthday present recently but sadly I don't think we will ever be able to go back to what we were.

Tell her to ditch the idiot.

Is the friendship really worth losing if he was the catalyst?

You should ask her how she really feels about him as I think she has her doubts but is scared to be without him.

I would try again, but tell her to ditch him once and for all.

Well she ditched him and I saw her recently but she didn't really seem in the mood to reconcile I was sad about that. She simplifys it by saying that my feelings for her would have caused the friendship problems eventually I don't 100% agree I think that had she kept her private life that then none of this would have happened.

You have to try and talk to her again no matter what and see why she's acting funny...obviously she needs someone to talk to, even if it's not a "tell all in one day" type of thing.

I think she still thinks of you.

It sounds like a disagreement on all sides. Sounds like Dylan wanted a threesome, and maybe Chloe wanted just Dylan. Love generally takes precedence over friendship, and unfortuantely sometimes friends are put to the side too much. That may be the case here. If Chloe doesn't rebuild after you feel him out, it's probably time to move on. Don't leave in a bitter way. Maybe just say nothing at all until/unless Chloe comes to you, then let him work toward building with you.

As for the cat care, sounds like there is too much laziness and sex enjoyment for a poor pet to be under the care of this kind of household. People generally do not want to apologize because they don't want to be liable for things and it's embarrassing. Also, maybe they don't feel it is their responsibility, especially if they are not compensated in some way if it's not their pet :/

It sounds like it is actually a good thing for your to move on from this inconsistent polyamorous(-like) affair.

It was so out of control I 100% agree on that and yes her moving out had its positives Tigger my cat is now 100% cared for to the best of my abilities I make sure he always has water etc. I was pressured into their activities and to me that was wrong yes I could have handled some things differently and I so wish I had.