I don't want to do anything anymore.

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I think I'm getting depressed. I feel physically tired and tired of having to fight to see a psychologist and get a referral. I don't want to do anything anymore. All I want is a diagnosis. No matter what the diagnosis/diagnoses might be. I'm also anxious all the time. Having to go to work (summer job) with all of these feelings is incredibly hard. I get so anxious about it I almost feel nauseous. Because of queues I can't get any help until earliest in the beginning/middle of September and the people who would be able to write a referral for an assessment won't do it, even though I have the right to get one. I'm all alone in this. Not even my parents understand what I'm going through.

Is life really supposed to be like this?

I would definitely say you are depressed. As to what to do about it, don't give up trying to get the referral but hang in there if you can't. Your situation is unfortunately common in countries with too few doctors for too many patients.

Is it common to feel like crying a lot when depressed? I'm not really a cryer (except for when having meltdowns) but nowadays I feel like crying quite often. Now for example. Starting my 4 hour shift at work in 20 minutes. Don't know if I can do it. Seriously considering quitting. My parents would get so angry though.

Yes, it is very common to cry when depressed. I have suffered many bouts of depression over my lifetime and I can definitely say that I was prone to crying during most of them. There were plenty of days when I didn't feel like working, or doing anything for that matter. However, I usually pushed through it because I had to in order to pay the bills. I was so bad at one point that my co-workers talked to the police about having me involuntarily committed. Even today, a friend of mine is concerned enough about me that he keeps trying to get me to see if I can qualify for government assistance in seeking psychological help for my issues. (In the US, heath care is not provided by the government unless you are indigent.) I definitely know what you are going through and you are most certainly not alone in this. Depression and it's cousin, anxiety, are the most common psychological conditions and many people suffer from them. Most of the times, people recover from them on their own. However, it is generally accepted that depression lasting for more than 2 weeks to a month is clinically significant enough to require treatment.

Hang in there, I know the not knowing is terrible

I know I'm not alone in feeling this way but I feel very lonely. I don't think my parents see how serious this is.

I've had anxiety since I was about 11 or 12 (that's when I first remember being anxious) and if this is what depression feels like then I had my first depression when I was 15 or 16. And if this is what depression feels like then I've been depressed for the past 3 months. It's getting worse and worse though. I don't remember what it feels like to feel peaceful or generally happy about life. Still I haven't been seeking help before I started doing so this spring. Strange, right? I've never even talked about these things before. I sort of thought it was something everyone had to go through while growing up but now I know that's not the case. Also, not knowing if I've got some sort of ASD or "just" Social Anxiety Disorder/OCD/ADD/ADHD/GAD (or whatever it might be) is slowly tearing me down.

Sorry for all the negativity, just want to express how I feel for once. I guess you guys understand this more than the people around me.



It really is.

No need to apologize. It seems to be a common thread among people who have/suspect an ASD. In fact, it is one of the reasons I suspect I may be on the spectrum as well. If/when I go for treatment for my own depression and anxiety issues I am going to bring up the subject of aspergers to whomever I talk to as I feel it makes sense. It is actually important that you bring it up as a person with an ASD has different neurology and may respond differently to medication and treatment than a neurotypical would. So far as your parents are concerned, it sounds like they don't really get what you are going through, and possibly think it is just a normal part of the hormonal issues typical to people your age. My parents were much the same way and even though I told them in detail the issues with depression, anxiety and bullying I was experiencing at that age, they thought I was exaggerating. The sad thing is that, if that is the case, you will have to try and handle this yourself at a point when you are least able to do so. As far as the autism thing goes, you need to deal with it now rather than later in life as it is much easier to get a diagnosis when you are younger than as an adult. Then you can learn what you are doing that causes problems and make changes (if you choose) and choices that will make the rest of your life go more smoothly.

I will bring it up. My plan is to get a referral so I can get assessed for ASD/ADD/ADHD and then, while queueing for it, go see a psychologist about my anxiety and depression (or what I at least assume is anxiety and depression).



The strange thing is that my mum experience some (not all) of the things I experience as well, but she really doesn't want to find out if there's something "wrong" with her (she says she's pretty sure she would've gotten an ADD or ADHD diagnosis if the diagnoses would've existed when she was a child though). She says that's her way to cope with it and that she'd never go see someone about it. So I guess she doesn't really understand that I need to do so. My parents see that I'm feeling down and they see some of my "strange habits" but I actually think they don't really know me that well. I've always kept all my feelings and troubles to myself and since I'm always more relaxed at home, they haven't really seen my social issues etc. Do you know what I mean?



What counts as "younger"? I mean, starting to seek a diagnosis when you're 21 is quite late as well. If it turns out I've actually got an ASD, I wonder how my parents could've missed it. How did they not see it? So many thoughts in my head.

I know what you mean about being different in situations that are safe/comfortable as opposed to ones that seem like trying to walk through a social minefield with snowshoes on. It's part of the reason my mom questions my self-diagnosis today. Sadly though, they don't see your life outside of that context and so have a limited ability to truly know what is going on.

As far as diagnosis is concerned, the younger you get it, the easier it is. I am 38 and just now trying to figure this out. I was diagnosed with ADHD in the mid 1980's. Asperger's wasn't even in the DSM until 1996, so a true diagnosis of it was impossible at the time. The problem with trying to figure it out now is that it is far harder to remember what my childhood was like for both me and my parents. It will be easier for you though as your childhood was far more recent. I would also look at ADHD as a possible explanation as well. Mild AS and ADHD share a lot of commonality between them, so much so that some think that ADHD should be considered to be on the autistic spectrum. The differences are in the details as both have social issues and attention span issues as well. As for me, I probably 95% fit ADHD and 70-80% fit Asperger's. There are things in Aspergers that are not in ADHD though and that is why I am researching both for my self.

Exactly, they don't really know.

Speaking of AS and ADHD sharing a lot of traits; I think it's difficult figuring out what I've got since so many things overlap. Some days I'm sure I've got AS and some days I think I might "just" be an extreme introvert with Social Anxiety Disorder or something.

Earlier you said you've had some bouts of depression. How'd you get through them? If I may ask. And do you have any advice on what I can do? Often I just feel like quitting my summer job, lock myself in my room, not talk to anyone, cry a bit, hit my head and give up. I haven't even read any science books lately. I don't feel like doing so. And science (especially astronomy) is my biggest interest. So something's clearly wrong.

I am a difficult one to get advice from about depression as it has been with me for so long that it is a part of my personality (the Eeyore avatar is not far from the truth). As for the bad episodes though, I tended to just shut down to responding to my emotions as best I could and just did everything I was required to do by rote, rather than intuition. What that means is that I basically live life by a series of if-then statements rather than by doing what I felt like doing. This is not the best way to deal with it but it did allow me to function and grind my way through it. However, it is only good for dealing with the short term. In the long run, you will need to get help in order to not have it drag on for years and years. This is where I am at right now. I have a friend who is trying to get me to seek help and am probably going to relent so long as I can get it for free or at significantly reduced cost. I know that I can no longer keep putting it off into the future as it has ruined my life and kept me from being able to live up to my full potential. However, I have also used it as a counterbalance to my ADHD or AS social traits and it usually keeps me from going on and on about a singular subject, so I need to figure out that part of the puzzle at the same time. Plus, I am going to finally try to finish college starting this fall, so I need to deal with whatever is causing my significant motivational, organizational and attention deficit issues.

As to why I have not sought help yet, that is complicated. I actually have sought assistance a few times, but all I got were pills to deal with the depression that were sometimes worse than the depression itself. It turns out that I do not tolerate SSRI drugs (Zoloft, Paxil, Celexa, Prozac, etc.) well, so the normal stuff would not work. Worse still, I have no insurance and work a service industry job so each doctor visit and prescription came completely out of my own pocket and cost me a significant portion of my income (10-20% of my monthly take home). So, rather than being able to work it out in short order, I had to be very selective as to when I would seek help, and then only from my general practitioner and not from a mental health specialist. Even when I did seek help from someone who works in mental health it was only a psychologist and they are not qualified to prescribe medication. Eventually I just gave up. It has now been ten years since I last sought help and I am still stuck in the same rut I was in before. I have learned better ways of dealing with my finances now but paying for assistance will still be difficult it I don't want to exhaust my limited savings. I now have to see if I can somehow get it for free due to my income, something I am philosophically opposed to but at this point pragmatism is taking over.

Sorry to go on so much about myself but I figured you may want some background of what I have suffered with from depression over the years. The upshot is that you need to deal with it as soon as you can and don't give up. Even if it takes you a few months, it is better than dealing with it for years and years of wasted life that you will never get back.

I think you're depressed. I've suffered from depression before, and some things helped me. If your parents don't understand, stop trying to get them to- this will only make you feel more hopelessness. Talking to a psychologist about this would be better, so you don't feel isolated in your feelings and someone will understand them. Also, make sure you are getting enough sunlight, proper 8-10 hours of sleep, and are eating regularly. Avoid foods with a lot of sugars and fats as these can worsen your depression and make your energy levels lower. Exercise also helps, stuff like swimming, running, biking, and jumping rope help me. Finding ways to express yourself are great too, especially through art or music. Hope this helps.

Sweet Pea hugs

Actually crying more than usual can be a sign of depression....I mean I don't typically cry much either, and if I do I usually go somewhere no one will see me. So yeah if you've been feeling more sensitive and crying more it certainly could be depression.

But yeah if you have to quit, quit.......your parents need to make a better effort to understand your difficulties. I mean you cannot live your whole life just trying to avoid pissing them off.

First of all, good luck with your studies! Second of all, I'm actually going off to university this fall and I also really feel like I need to deal with whatever's going on in my life (preferably before then, but that's probably not going to happen). I'm scared of going to university. Especially because of all the social things. Makes me really anxious.



I'm actually really scared of medication. Scared of getting addicted and scared of side effects.

Do you know why you don't tolerate SSRIs?



That's alright. I really hope things will get better for you. That you'll get the help you need.

I won't give up. I must get help. But I guess you know how it is; sometimes you just get so tired of fighting.

Thanks for the advice. And yes, all I want is to see a psychologist. The queues are really long though and my GP won't give me a referral for getting assessed for ASD even though I have the right to get one. I've even been in contact with the people who would be assessing me and they say I should get a referral and that they're willing to talk to my GP. They told her to call them. But my GP avoids it, which I think is quite terrible. Should I tell her to call them once more? I feel like I'm really annoying, but I just want help.



Yeah, like I said, I'm not really a cryer. But yesterday, on the bus on my way to my summer job, I had a lot of anxiety and I felt so bad I got tears in my eyes.

I can't quit my summer job though. I need the money. I'm working part-time (5 x 3-4 hours a week) and I'm only working for another week and a half. I doubt I'll even get through that. Something's wrong.