I Can't Handle Life

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I can't handle life. I can't handle my life. I have too much pain and am afraid of more pain...
I am not good with people. I'm not what most people like and aspergers is not the only reason.
I have too many strikes against me. I feel lost and hopeless. Not hopeless just because but with good reason.
Even when things were at my highest points they were still pretty bad; bad enough to cause the "average" person depression.
So what do I do suffer because OTHER people expect me to? Because they fear death...? Totally irrational.
I am at my wits end. Only 4 months left in this year and it is very likely that I won't wait them out. I'm tired.

I'm sorry you feel this way. I am currently depressed for similar reasons. Do you have any friends or family you can talk to?

If I were you, I'd consider counseling.

I hope that was helpful.

It is sad that you feel like not waiting to see the new year. You are unique and make your own contribution to this life. If the pain is physical, please get yourself to a doctor. If emotional talk to somebody, even if it is a therapist. Many of us have had good cause to feel hopeless and that feeling will pass. Do you have a terminal illness? I don't presume to know your circumstances but I do know that they are not unique. Sometime,somewhere, another person has had experiences similar to yours. Be kind to yourself.

Personally, what helped me out when I was in the pit, was the knowledge that this mind that we have is a one-time deal. Once it's over, it's over, and that's it. Which means that there's no rush to end it, because we'll get there soon enough anyway.

So I sat it through. And it got better.