Strange Agoraphobia

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I have Agoraphobia, but I have no problem with getting the bus and meeting my friends. But I have Agoraphobia otherwise, like when I'm at home I feel terribly anxious of going out to the shops or to see my grandmother, and so I shut the front door again. I think I get like this because walking out somewhere on my own involves a lot of performing in public, which is what makes me so anxious, like when I walk to my grandmother's I have to cross a lot of roads or if I go the quiet way I still have to pass people and I find it hard to make eye contact but if I don't look at them I feel awkward aswell. And going to the shops, I find that hard too, with or without someone, because when I'm with someone I'm standing about waiting for them to choose what they need and I always get in someone's way, which makes me annoyed, and when I go on my own that means I have to pay. The self-service check-outs has it's good and bad points, just like going to a normal till. Also I don't like going out because I don't like people looking at me.

But I don't seem to have any problem with getting the bus, even though there's a number of peeves I have, like when there's someone else waiting at the bus stop, or the bus being too crowded and having to stand, or having people sit next to me on the bus, or having a small child in the street behind me (just seems to make me agitated). I do enjoy getting the bus because I like the route, the bus company, and the bus-drivers are friendly and I know a few of them, so maybe that's why I enjoy getting the bus, and I suppose enjoyment can defeat stress. Well, I don't mind walking, but other people keep looking at me does take all the enjoyment out of it. But also getting on the bus doesn't involve much performance, I have a buspass that I just show the driver then I find a seat (usually I get the bus at the times when it don't get so crowded), then when I get off I practically am with my friends so I'm not really alone.

Does anyone else have this problem? Does it seem weird to NTs, being anxious at more simple things than the bigger things? (Rationally, getting on a bus and going out of your local town to a busier town should be more intimidating than just walking up to your local shops?)

hmmm
Is it possible that that an AS diagnosis is more clinically useful than Agoraphobia?

Over time, going out has become less and less attractive to me and can generate some anxiety, even in simple things. I have found too that once I find something that worked OK (ie. nothing bad or embarassing happened) I will stick with it. As an example rather then try many different places to eat, I will go over and over to the one I am comfortable. I have never really investigated this aspect, so don't know if this is an Aspie thing, Agoraphobic or just anxiety/fear, the result of growing up in places where going anywhere was dangerous.

I had severe agoraphobia for several years and eventually didn't leave the house without my husband for a couple years. From what I know of it, agoraphobia is usually triggered by a situation that you have had severe anxiety or a panic attack in. At first I couldn't make myself go back to places outside my home where I first had panic attacks, then eventaully I got afraid to go anywhere because I was afraid of the panic attacks. This is not to say that yours will progress like that. From what I've read about it, most people who have it don't end up like that.

I'd assume that the places that you are phobic about are places where you have had high anxiety before. What is reccommended is that you go back to them with a safe person or alone and "ride out" the anxiety enough times so your body learns that the anxiety can't hurt you. This didn't work for me, I guess because I knew how it was supposed to work and subconsciously fought it out of my fear of the panic attacks. I had to take low dose Xanax for quite a while to learn that the panic would stop and it wouldn't hurt me.

Yours sounds mild, and I'd really try to look up some behaviorial therapy tactics for coping with it. The worst thing you can do is to be afraid of anxiety or panic or phobia itself. I do wish you luck, because it's aweful to get in those situations.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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