Being despised for being depressed?

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something bad happened about 2 months ago but i would rather not go into it.

since then i have been going through some horrific depression and its effecting my home life because i am getting into arguments with my parents because i feel low and manic all the time.

what i have noticed is since i have been going through this depressed phase that people around me including my family and friends are being driven away by me. this is what i don't understand about people how come everyone hates me because i am going through depression? How come someone who is going through a lot of emotional pain repels people? this is not the first time this has happened either when going through phases of depression.

i know it seems like i am playing the victim act here but this i just don't get why people would end up despising me because i suffer from depression? my dad says though that i don't deserve sympathy?

I have had that too and people isolate me more and I feel more depressed because people isolate me more.

Why do people get more isolated from you when your going through depression?

No people stay away from me and make me feel less wanted around and more isolated than I feel already.

A couple of things come to mind...

1. It can be extremely frustrating to deal with a person whom you care about who is deeply depressed. The person who is not depressed might offer suggestions that, in normal circumstances, would be helpful, but with a depressed person, the suggestions are useless. When the depressed person cannot be helped, the person trying to help feels useless and helpless in the face of this intangible depression.

I have struggled with my own depression all my life so I'm familiar with that side of it. A friend recently became quite depressed and I had a lot of trouble dealing with his deeply negative views. Much of his depression came from being out of work. When I offered help, his response was almost always how my suggestion was impractical and useless. While I understood that his depression caused him to not think fully rationally, that did not eliminate the anger and frustration I felt because I feared he was just slipping deeper and deeper into a state he could not get out of. (Luckily he got a job and is much better now)

While in a state of depression, everything looks impossible. Every well intentioned suggestion seems like an insurmountable task. When we are depressed, we tend to be rather dismissive and sometimes even contemptuous of other people's attempts to help. Even the most understanding person can become deeply angry in these situations.

One thing I started to do a few years ago that helps me when I am depressed... Instead of talking about my depression, I ask how other people are feeling and if they are feeling bad, is there anything I can do to help. It is remarkable in how this helps lift my depression much more effectively than if I dwelt on it.

2. The second point is that when you are depressed, you make have a hard time assessing other people's emotional responses. You may be perceiving their attitudes as far more extreme than they actually are.

I hope you can get through this depression quickly and get to a more normal state.

Good luck.

jim morrison said it best-

"people are strange, when you're a stranger-
faces look ugly, when you're alone...
women seem wicked, when you're unwanted-
streets are uneven, when you're down--

when you're strange,
faces come out of the rain-
when you're strange,
no one remembers your name--

when you're strange....."

I honestly don't know why people are like that...so then I avoid them and then they get on my back about avoiding them. It's like well do you want to be around me when I'm depressed or not? I think the next time maybe I should actually ask that. There are a few people that can understand but not very many. So yeah I don't really have an answer but I've experienced what you're talking about.

Usually it is my family that starts getting angry at me, and they complain that I should be happy and smiling because I had a good life.

I've heard somewhere that depressed people have this black swirling hole, like a whirlpool, around them, and if you get too close, you get sucked into that vortex. Naturally, people will get away from that because they want to feel free and happy, not helpless and dying. I stay away from people when I'm depressed. I wouldn't want to be responsible for anyone getting sucked into my vortex.

no one in my family understands me.
they do not believe in autism or depression.
even if you go through something, some people just are not going to understand.
it upsets me when people say I should be happy.
who are they to say what I should be?
its my problem if Im going to be sad, right?
some humans are so closed minded and there is nothing you can do about it.
they will think what they want no matter what you tell them.

Yes, some are in denial of the exsistance of the mental plane and the complexity of the machine that is your brain. As someone who worked on the most complex machines of my time and down to the level of individual bits of data I can tell you that at any given time dozens of things are broken, but the machine continues to work after a fashion because of built-in redundency and safe guards. And the most sophisticated machine today is not even as intelligent as an ant. The brain which is incredibly more complex is made of living tissue but operates like all machines off electro and chemical power. Hundreds if not thousands of problems must be possible. But the brain has self-repair and maintenance capabilities far beyond the best human technicians. Sometimes however it cannot totally fix a problem and a with some problems it can do nothing at all. Which is where modern medicine in all it's forms can be a valid and shameless aid. Those who deny this help as necessary or useful are still living in the dark ages when it comes to mental conditions.

Like many other people who have offered you advice here - I have also found that people are put off with me when I am depressed. I suffered several bouts of depression, starting in childhood - there are times when I think I am depressed now, but I have new coping mechanisms to get through it, so it has never been unbearable.

People around you are probably confused by your behaviour, but if you feel that they are being unsupportive, it is best to say so directly, i.e. "I don't think you're being very supportive - I am going through a difficult time". On the other hand, I generally tend to avoid people when I am depressed, and when they try to interact with me, if I know that they are just going to annoy me, I push them away. You could try to read up more on depression and explain it to the people around you, but be aware that it may not always help them to understand.

Ultimately, nobody can truly understand what you are feeling because the feelings are inside you - you have to push those feelings out using your words, actions and whatever other tools you can find. Most importantly, though, is finding a way to work through your depression - it's not an easy task, but the better you get at coping with depression, the better your life will feel.

I'm not sure if that helps at all, but I hope that you come and post here some more when you are feeling misunderstood - look at how many people have replied to your message! It shows that there ARE people out there who WILL understand.