I hate this.

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I'm tired of compulsively researching psychological and neurological disorders in order to get reassurance in order to get rid of the anxiety. I'm tired of anxiety taking over my life. It makes me do all these compulsive things I don't want to do. And the obsessive thoughts won't shut up. I can't turn them off.

Today a new "what if?"-thought popped into my head. "What if I'm just a hypochondriac?" In my mind I've got good reason for sitting 10-15 hours pretty much every day researching disorders and thinking about my mental health. I know something's "wrong" with me and I've based that on my behaviours and things that have happened in my life. I've got good reason to think I have an anxiety disorder and/or an ASD. But what if I'm just a hypochondriac? That questions brings even more anxiety. I hate this. I hate this whole situation. I don't know what to do anymore.

The ironic thing is that this post is probably just another moronic compulsive thing I need to do to get rid of the anxiety. Which will bring more anxiety. I f*****g hate this.

I don't expect you to understand what I've just written. Just needed to get it out.

Last edited by rebbieh on 11 Aug 2012, 9:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

It seems that your mind has created a cycle where you are anxious about your health, and you need to read about it, which makes it even more anxious.

I know because I was once the same!

Anti-anxiety medication might help. I also took up martial arts. There is no positive thinking without positive action.

Go see a doctor. You probably need anti-anxiety medication and a mood stabilizer, like I'm taking, and therapy. It also takes self-discipline to break that cycle of thoughts.

Life gets so much better when they stop.

Ditto above responses. It may be just chemical problems/imbalances to begin. If I remember correct you are in line awaiting to see doctors, etc. I had same problem and it took a medication to bring it under control. Almost feel normal in this respect now and free of those useless thoughts and time spent uselessly worrying/obsessing. There is only so much you can do researching so how about assuming it is a psychological issue for now, and taking a break from it and forcing yourself to move on and focusing on something else while you await your appointments. Hobby, Study another non mental-disorder interest, Pets, Sports, take walks, ride a bike, go to library, clean/re-organize your room,etc. It's important to try to do something physical everyday as well as mental. Physical activity has been proven to help keep your mind relaxed.

Exactly. The body builds on the mind and vice versa.

Other people have posted some really good advice.

I used to have a major problem with anxiety, and I eventually learned something very important about anxiety and worry. Their purpose is to be just noticeable enough to prompt you to do something about them. If you ever have more worry or anxiety than that, or if you have so much that you worry about the worry, or if it becomes a destructive cycle, then you are worrying too much. Also, don't let yourself worry about something that probably won't happen. It will probably end up not happening and you will have done a lot of worrying for nothing. Excess anxiety is really unpleasant, and it doesn't even get anything done.

There are two things that I've noticed can immediately help with excessive anxiety and worrying. Physical exercise and accomplishing something useful. An accomplishment doesn't have to be big or difficult, and it might even be better if it isn't. Small, simple tasks like doing a load of laundry, or taking out the trash, or washing the dishes can make you feel better about yourself. If you just did something right, it's hard to tell yourself that you can't do anything right.

As far as your 'what if I'm a hypochondriac?' question goes, so what if you are? If you are, that isn't the end of the world. I think you should just ask a doctor about it. Maybe he'll tell you you aren't, or maybe you'll find out you are. If you are, then you'll find out what you can do about it. Either way, you get to stop having to worry about it.

Good luck.

you just need to layoff the research. It will be hard at first but it will get easier with time. you need to fine a new interest to replace it. if you can make this change without drugs you will be better off in the long run.

I think I'm worried about being a hypochondriac just because being a hypochondriac wouldn't explain things in my life. Being a hypochondriac would explain obsessing about my mental health and compulsively research mental disorders, but it wouldn't explain anything else. It wouldn't explain my extreme social anxiety (I even go mute sometimes). It wouldn't explain my poor eye contact. It wouldn't explain my general anxiety. It wouldn't explain my need for order. It wouldn't explain why I sometimes take jokes literally. It wouldn't explain my sensory issues. It wouldn't explain why I so easily get obsessed with things. It wouldn't explain why I count steps when I walk up and down stairs. Etc. Or is that just the hypochondria talking?



You're right. I just wish I knew how to change one obsession into another. I'm very interested in Astronomy and Astrophysics for example. Would be great to go back to being obsessed about that. I just don't know how to. I can't really force it.

I am going through the same thing right now. I know I need to seek help for my issues, but my horrible executive functioning keeps me from remembering to make the phone calls needed until late at night. Late at night is when I do most of my thinking and research, so it is the only time of day I think of it.

I actually think I need to lay off of it for a while and go do something other than sit on the computer 6-12 hours a day reading about autism and anything else that comes to mind. Sadly, I live in the south (US) and it is HOT and humid this time of year, making it difficult for me to get much motivation to leave the house. I even spent a few hundred dollars on parts for one of my project cars so that I can get it done and figure out what to do with it. Sadly though the heat is too much to deal with. Wait... what were we talking about again? Oh yeah! Researching mental disorders! (damn tangential thoughts! ) Umm... yeah. It's probably not healthy to do it obsessively because if you look hard enough you can convince yourself you have darn near anything. Try to find an alternate diversion you can do with other people and try NOT to alienate them by talking about your obsessive interest in mental issues (like I have been doing...) Remember that the object of the game will be letting yourself think about other things so that your mind has a break.

Yeah, outofplace, I know I need to get away from my computer and all the research etc. But it's difficult to just stop, isn't it?

Deleted.

You'd be surprised to know just how "not alone" you are. I get where you're coming from, and yeah, that post is more obsessing. But you're trying to reach out, and you're genuinely bothered by all this. Don't fault yourself for wanting some relief. If you can see a therapist I definitely would. The good news is, you're amazingly focused on things that interest you (yes, I would say that among other things, psychological disorders actually interest you. You're also creative in that you can imagine yourself with all these different things) the bad news is, your brain goes into an obsessive thinking loop and you don't know how to stop it. For me, behavioral therapy is working. I understand the loop now, and understand that if I can't put a though into action, I need to stop the loop. If I'm obsessing about something, I might even have to say "STOP!" and try to redirect my focus.

Putting aside the subject matter, the "Ive got this psychological thing, I've got that disorder, etc etc" and just look at it mechanically, you're brain engine is running, but your transmission is stuck in neutral, and your revving the engine over things you can do nothing about. Maybe you are ADD, maybe you're not ADHD, maybe you're a hypochodriac and you have lupis, maybe this and maybe that....who knows, all you know is that your reving your engine, and going nowhere....you're microscope is turned all the way up. you're ultra focused on these disorders, and ultra focused on the fact that you're ultra focused.....pull back on the microscope and let some other aspects of life come into view......literally picture a microscope, and picture your hand turning the dial and moving that focus outward to the point where you can see other things, other aspects of life......

I dunno dude, I just went on a rambling rampage but I hope some of that makes sense....

Well if you suspect that you are aspie you should I guess focus more on reading stories of other aspies,
that is the easiest thing to find out whether you are such.

If you feel like many of us here then you are quite probably like us.(Well I am also undiagnosed, still)
I searched also around like you did. These kind of things you describe are littlebit familiar to me
but my anxiety is not really always there...

I have done so many stupid things in my life and I think that most of them relate also to some kind of anxiety(Du menar väl ångest eller hur)?
My anxiety is triggered usually by something

I think you are aspie with typical anxiety problems.
Well hypochondriac thinking about hypochondrism is kind of hmmm.
Aspie thinking about being Aspie or not is pretty normal in the beginning.

Well, I am almost certain I am.
Counting stairsteps is really something I could do, too.

I was the same as you until i got my diagnosis. It really does bring a lot of relief...

100% of the people with autism that self diagnose are right. It's only the ones that don't have it that get it wrong ... .. If it helps, you seem aspie to my mind, in a very ME way. If anyone is going to self diagnose and get it right you seem like the type that would.

Yeah well first but then...

I think it is not just much easier after that. But you can start doing something.

If you get some other (wrong) diagnosis then you probably have a problem.
And really nobody can really help you, if he/she doesn't know that you are Aspie.
It requires some special understanding if somebody wants to really help you. Otherwise I guess you are quite easily misunderstood.
Or get advices that don't help. Or feel unpleasant ..., wrongly addressed

I wish I would have known earlier...

But at the moment I am really far from really relieved. Sorry to say that. But life is somehow different after that

At least you can stop thinking "what the hell is wrong with me?" And you have something to connect this to, some explanation

Did you mean me or onks?



Ja, jag menar ångest.

I have read quite a lot here at WP and I can relate to quite a lot of it (not all of it, but quite a lot). The thing that makes me doubt the most is that my parents seem to have decided nothing's "wrong" with me and that they're not going to believe me whatever I say. Yesterday my mother told me that I exaggerate things and that what I remember as memories from my childhood are more like feelings I experienced not facts of what actually happened. She says she thinks I've got more of an emotional problem/problem with my emotions rather than a "real problem" (yes, that's what she said). Thing is I've never told anyone how I experienced things during my childhood so how could she have known what I went through? Anyway, she doesn't believe me and now she makes me doubt everything.