Can't take it anymore.

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nevermind....shouldn't have said anything.

Sorry to hear you're dealing with strong suicidal thoughts due to stress. I have been there and it isn't pleasant.

I am prone to thinking suicidally when I am stressed and sometimes it gets to the point where I can't cope with it on my own anymore. From my experience I'd definitely suggest you speak to someone about this rather than try to ignore the thoughts any further.

I have built up a bit of trust with my GP and I am now open with him when I am thinking suicidally and it helps. If he thinks the risk is high, I end up at an emergency consult at the local psychiatric hospital. So far they have not admitted me as they do not think it would be a good environment for me and that it might make me even worse. They usually end up prescribing me meds to try to calm my thoughts down and give me a follow up appt with psychiatrist two days later.

The first time I was open with my GP was because I had emailed a colleague who recognised that I was feeling suicidal by what I had written even though I thought I had avoided it and they made me go to my GP and in fact took me there.

If you don't have a GP you trust then the ER might be the appropriate option if you are concerned that you might act on your thoughts. Otherwise be open with someone (I call from previous posts you have a friend who you sometimes go spend time with to get out of your home - they might be a good option) - you may find that talking about it makes the thoughts seem less powerful and overwhelming. If they are worried about you they may take you to the doctor which will alleviate some of the anxiety about interacting with receptionists etc.

Edit to add: I have never told my husband about my suicidal thoughts because I don't think he'd cope well with it and I feel guilty about that. So it's quite understandable if you don't want to speak to anyone you're very close to. But a friend, or a doctor who has to keep it confidential, are there to help.

I can tell you from experience that the "psych ward" is more or less a "drunk tank", and is more or less a setup for people to come down off an overdose or something similar. I went into a "ward" a couple years ago when I was at the stage you're at now. They basically imprisoned me in the place. I was only allowed to move between my bedroom and the "group room", though they let people into a fenced area to "smoke" after every hour of "group". (And there is ALWAYS group.) Then they'd wonder why I was here because I wasn't on drugs or alcohol. At the same time they tried to sell me on going to AA or NA meetings. (Why?) One of the "therapists", suggested that I was the cause of all my problems. That didn't sit well with me. On top of that, they wouldn't let me eat in the cafeteria. And they kept trying to feed me green beans which I told them 200 f*****g times I was allergic to.

7 days of hellish imprisonment.


I don't really know how to advise you, here. Obviously a psych ward didn't work for me. In retrospect, it was a cry for help which fell upon deaf ears. You may have a better experience, I don't know.

Wait, you have health care?

It sounds like that you're past the point of having to go to the emergency room. You NEED to go and tell them about this. They WILL help you, that's how I got help. Don't be scared of going to the psych ward, it's not bad unless you choose to have a bad experience by not listening to any of the doctors or nurses. It sounds like you waited too long for the counselling and you're at the point where you need to get help from the hospital. Yeah, it's scary at first because you don't know what to expect but once you're there you'll find that it's not as bad as you thought it would be. They'll stabilize you so your anxiety and depression gets better and the nurses are super nice there, they talk to you and they don't judge you at all.

They wont keep you there forever either, maybe a few days or two weeks. It depends how well you do really. Either way by the time I left I didn't even want to leave the hospital, it was so peaceful there but once you're out you'll find that you can cope with things a lot better. They'll probably set you up with some kind of program so you have resources to go to after.

I really don't know what other advice to give you. I feel for you, I really do because I've had low feelings as well but you need to do something about it. I mean you can basically try self-calming techniques, go to counselling, get medication and/or go to the hospital as a last resort. If you don't do anything there's not much else you can do. If you talk to your mum I bet you she'll understand and she'll take you straight to the hospital. If you want advice though, you need to take heed and do what we suggest though because there's not much else you can do at this point.

Please watch this:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1orMXD_Ijbs[/youtube]

It always makes me feel better. As for the stress, why are you stressed?

I put one of my friends in the ward for a week "shes schizophrenic" and before hand she was on the edge of suicide just dropped out of college and was pretty much trying to ruin the lives of everyone around her... a week is all it took.. now a year later she has a career and is the single most stable person I know from a "Free" week at a ward cause I took her to the ER for suicidal thoughts....

Its the best thing you can do if you dont know how to fix things yourself.. ive thought about putting myself in lately...

I disagree. It was designed to make sweetleaf laugh, and get her out of a state of depression.

If you call 911 and tell them you are suicidal, they will come and transport you.