Anyone feel like this?

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I felt all my life I had to either create the next Microsoft, Google, ect. or conquer the world just to be happy. I know this sounds strange, but where I live is really boring.

For guys only: I feel that I want a girlfriend more than life itself. This sounds really strange and illogical but that's how I felt since I was 5. Yet I'm 19 and never kissed. I try to conquer the world but girls want small things. I can't see the small things in my barren environment and always thought big. I haven't had a close friend since I was 13. I'm tired of girls pretending to be nice to me then ditching me behind my back. Even unpopular girls do this to me. Even if a girl ignores me when I like her, I know I shouldn't keep trying to approach her, but when you have no-one in this world that understands you, not even your parents, and you haven't hung out with anyone in years, It's just so hard!! Plus, there's nothing else to do at my college! What should I do for the rest of my life, study all day, get rich (hopefully), and die without a family by my side? If my college taught stuff relevant to our future careers, I wouldn't have to be so desperate. If college had activities that were more laid back, compatible with my schedule, homework, and different kinds of people, I wouldn't have to be so desperate. And it's not like I'll be successful the next time, so this is a matter of life or death to me. I mean it must be easy for people to rudely reject me since they already have an established life and friends and family and they don't understand what it's like to be existentially lonely and ignored!! !! !! !! !! !! These people have never faced a hardship in their lives, so they treat me like one!! !! !! !! !! !

I should be designing circuits (Electrical Engineering), but they only teach the theory because they're lazy.

I know I sound like a pretentious jerk but it's hard not to in my situation.

I don't know what to do.

welcome to life

I am a Computer Science student and understand what you mean!

Unfortunately, people who work with computers are constantly shunned by society.. especially girls (unless you're rich). I wasn't kissed until I was 20, so I definitely feel you in the girlfriend department too. As aspies, it can be hard to talk to girls because they think exclusively with emotions. People like us think with more logic and have trouble picking up on others feelings

Girls usually want someone who is confident and owns their environment. I grew up obsessed with James bond films, and would usually try to mimic him when I talk to girls. I try to be suave, witty, classy, and confident.

I'm sorry you feel so isolated, sounds like you could really use some friends. Maybe see if there are people in your class you can hook up with to start a project or something. Larry Page and Sergey Brin met up in college and ended up creating Google after all!