One of those days

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Alright so I feel kind of pathetic actually letting this get to me......but it has and in an effort not to do stupid things like punch walls, bang my head against the wall, binge drink accuse everyone of avoiding me on purpose, ect. I decided to vent at least for now. So its one of those days I feel especially lonely, isolated and more or less on the verge of madness. Currently I am sitting at my moms house alone, which is not really helping but all my friends/close family members I can talk to about some things or at least make me feel better by being around seem to be busy.

Considering going to the bar again...I shouldn't considering my financial situation but sitting here alone is not cutting it, and I don't really feel like going and sitting alone at the park near my house either and I am certainly not going to go to a movie so what else is there?

*hugs* Anything in particular happened that's got you down? You can always talk on here in a bit more detail if you think it will help. As for distractions maybe a walk/run, computer game, long soak in the bath?

Nothing specific, probably just being at my moms house and spending all day alone and then having to deal with the stress my mom and her boyfriend create, as well as I don't exactly have the best relationship with my mom I mean I don't really feel comfortable talking to her about anything but then she wants to try and be helpful and of course the endless drama of her and her boyfriend.....will they break up? will they get back together? the wold may never know(I guess that is supposed to be a joke since I am sure all the neighbors can hear when they yell at each other). If only I could afford to move out....but I still have not figured out any income.

Keep venting Sweetleaf ... it's much healthier than many of the alternatives.

If you can't think of anything to do just stay here on Wrong Planet. This is one place you can always fall back to and have support and distraction.

I guess, but sitting alone in my room on the computer all day out of lack of anything to do kind of just makes me feel worse. I mean it kinda helps talking but the being alone IRL isn't really something i can distract myself from because it effects anything I might do.

Why can't I just enjoy being alone all day....that would be nice, I guess today is just not a good day for being alone.

Yeah, I know what you mean. Still, it's better than lying on your bed, staring at the ceiling and having depressing thoughts flow through the mind. Have you ever considered having an online diary? You can either choose to make in public with an alias of course to get support and feedback or you can even make it private.

Yeah I had those days too when I was out of work. Are you still looking for work? Maybe you could do some volunteering to mix it up, doesn`t take too much commitment and is good for experience

To me, everything is one of these days baby. If you can put off a nervous breakdown, then do it. Put it off. have it tomorrow. Let today handle today. You are worth more than going crazy. I may sound like it's a choice and for most people, it is. It's a line. We see it, we know it's there and we dance with it every night. We want to step over it, we want to have already stepped over it, but we don't know what it will be like when we do.

I've jumped feet first like B'rer Rabbit over it, so let me tell you that it's no better, in fact it's worse.

Life sucks a lot of the time. I'm not saying something like "Oh, it sucks for everybody stop whining" or anything, cause trust me, I know. I got a lot of sucky s**t going on right now. I'm saying that you are stronger than you know and if you can tough it out you will come out on the other side feeling better. It don't seem like thats true now, but it is.

I've got so much bad stuff going on right now plus I've got my meth head friend who is off meth and trying to stay off meth asleep on my couch and she got drunk on wine tonight (better than meth though) and I had to sing to her for about an hour to get her to sleep. Plus all the crap going on in my life.

Here's the thing. You never know which day it is that is going to bring you the good surprise. It could be today or it might be next week. You never know, so get ready for the good surprise every single day. Cause it will eventually happen. Look at the potential for the day when you get up in the morning. Just the potential. It may happen, it may not, but every day has the potential.

Sweet Pea hugs