F*ck. What do I do now?!?

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I have just emailed my husband to tell him about my self-harm and recent overdose that landed me in A&E. He deserves to know as that overdose could have had much more serious consequences. And yes, I would want to be with him at such a time if the situations were reversed.

I love my husband very much but I have never been able to tell him about my self-harm.

We have been together for 18 years.

I know he loves me too but I'm terrified that this will be too mcuh for him.

So much f*cking panic running through me right now. Trying desperately hard not to hurt myself to calm it down. That would be the greatest irony. Tell your husband you harm yourself and then self harm more ...

I really feel for you, I do. I have had to hide the same from my husband and one night a few years ago he witnessed me bashing my forehead into the wall after an argument. I wanted very badly to die and just wanted to stop the pain, I know that's how you feel too.

He is still here. He has seen the good, the bad and the ugly from me and still holds me tight when I'm upset. He's the only one on this entire planet that really gets me, as I'm sure the same is true for your husband. This will be a tough time for him but I am quite certain that after 18 years of marriage he won't turn tail and flee at the first sign of you being in serious crisis. He should understand that he needs to be there for you the most right now because things have gotten this way for you.

You will feel better knowing this is in the open and I wish you the very best in your recovery, it takes time but all wounds heal with tender love. His love will be your light through this dark time.


(apologies for the weird wording, my thoughts are coming across as metaphors and stuff)



If I may ((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thanks kirayng. Things have been rather difficult tonight. Hopefully it will get easier from here.

He will probably be more understand and considerate towards you now he's aware that you have difficulties.

You've been together for 18 years. You're still the same person whom he loves very much and something like that won't change the way he feels about you!

I'm so glad you decided to tell him. Don't worry, it wont be as bad as you think it will be. You guys are there to support each other through thick and thin.