Please help me.

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Dear WP,

I feel like giving up. I'm incredibly low today. I'm tired of living in fear. I worry about everything. I worry about university, money, certain religious things, the way I look and my mental health. I'm extremely socially anxious, I don't know what's "wrong" with me and worry I'm somehow "faking" all my problems. I worry about becoming delusional. I get overloaded very easily and very quickly and I get stuck in mental loops all the time. It's like I'm a prisoner in my own mind.

I feel like I hate my life. Everything's so messy and I won't get to see a psychologist/psychiatrist until mid-November (never seen a professional before) or so. On top of it all my brain is telling me that you're all probably really tired of me ranting and that you all think I just want attention. I need help. I need someone to tell me things will get better. I need someone to tell me that just because I've struggled with these things (and a lot of other things) for as long as I can remember, it doesn't mean I'll have to feel like this until the day I die. I hate the uncomfortable and almost painful feeling in my chest. I hate feeling like I can't get out of my mind. I hate questioning myself, my memories and my sanity. I hate anxiety. I don't know what to do. Getting rather desperate.

Someone, please help me.

It does get better. Seriously. I used to be like you, freaking out at everything, wondering whats wrong with me, etc. Seriously, I used to be afraid of jumping off of a diving board that was like 2 feet above the pool.

Then I found answers. I read books, listened to audios, and finally found what I was looking for. You want to know why you do certain things? I HIGHLY recommend reading Unlimited Power by Anthony Robbins. It will explain all of the reasons why people do things, and how to change them within you.

It does get better, and you CAN have an amazing, happy, and fulfilled life. Right now, go write down 10 things that are right with your life. If you cant think of 10, then if there were 10, what would they be.

I do this whenever I am sad, and it radically shifts my emotional state.

I feel you, I know what you are going through, it sucks, and this is the one thing you can't run away from. I managed to get myself into a better place by finding the answers instead of guessing. They are out there. Start with reading Unlimited Power, and then go from there.

I've been in your situation. A lot of people on this forum have. I find it hard to relieve the stress you have over the Internet, I don't know what I can do.

But I can say that what worked for me was talking to someone who took me seriously, and on my premises, because nothing else would work. It is a very serious and awful situation to be in. And the comfort was that there was another human being in the world who actually could help me, it could be done, and trough that person I could get more help. So that I could get better, and get on the same level as people around me was. Even better. And it worked. (It was a psychologist).

Everyone who can even remotely relate to what you're going through are supporting you right now. If you meet your new therapist there is much that can be done. Until that you know you have our support and empathy. For me, it was that human support and empathy that worked. And understanding and knowledge. I will try my best to uphold and continue this so others also can get help.

Hey Vortex, I don`t have any answers because I feel more or less the same...just wanted to show some support...I just keep on telling myself that tomorrow is another day and that there always is some kind of possibility that it`s finally gonna be different from today. It`s like quiting smoking or something- if you can survive one day, you can survive all of them. So yeah...just have to keep it together, life changes.

Thanks, guys. Sorry, I don't want to be a burden and I know I might repeat things I've already said but I need to rant some more:

I just really don't know how to handle my life right now. I'm starting university tomorrow morning (for the first time) and I'm so incredibly anxious about meeting new people and having to be social. I really don't like "getting-to-know-each-other-games" and other games and I'm very bad at initiating conversations etc. I never know what to say, where to look and how to act. I don't like meeting new people. They scare me. I worry about people looking at me and laughing at me. I worry they'll think I'm fat or just really weird. I don't mind being different and/or weird, I just want to be by myself or at least get to know people in a way that suits me. Do you know what I mean?

Something that makes me really annoyed and sort of angry is that people around me belittle my problems. Here I am, feeling like absolute s**t and people I know keep telling me to stop worrying, stop being so self-absorbed and just snap out of it already. If I could've done so I would've done it a long time ago!

I can't wait to see a psychologist/psychiatrist. 3 months to go. That's a long time. Seriously, not knowing what's "wrong" with me is filling me with such negative emotions! I can't really identify them (but despair is probably one of them). I don't know what I'm feeling, only that I'm feeling extremely bad and that I don't know how to handle all of these emotions. What the f**k is wrong with me? Do I have AS or not? I don't know and everything's falling apart.

Last edited by vortex on 26 Aug 2012, 12:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You're not a burden. If you need to vent then vent. That's what this place is for.

Agreed! No harm in that!

I know what you mean. People underestimated my problems as well, and I almost didn't live through my time like that. It's just strange to people, but it is very serious. I had the exact same situation, and I can't think of anything else than that I have AS today. It also fits what you are experiencing. I am as well waiting for psychologists to finish the diagnose (for the second, or maybe 4/5/6th time). I would think that you have it.

Your psychologist hopefully understands you and take you seriously. If not, then make them. They will after some time understand the torment.

I'm afraid people with AS can't help you that much with the social problems. We can't do much about them ourselves. I've done many things before though, i have LOTS of experience with it, maybe it will help you. I would say you should not try to answer the expectations people have of you. You're obviously not like them, you won't react like they do, you are different and you probably Think differently. That's you, and they have to face the fact that people are different. Maybe that mindset can help you, and make you relax. It's ok. People will understand.


This is an illusion. That intesifies because of your situation, and maybe your experiences in the past. They aren't actually that mean. You just think so. And it hurts your situation. If they don't understand and take you for a human being that deserves respect, then they are some good old idiots. Trust me. They are stupid. Try thinking the better of people around you, and you will be surprised that they actually Are better than what you thought they were. The human mind works that way.

I would say you need to Accept and get a hold of the fact that you Are different. You think differently. Act differently. That's who you are. Don't use so much time on pleasing others, thinking about what they want or what you need to do in situations. You are better than them by realizing this. You'll get a better life by it. If you don't do it it may cause a lot of stress for you. And people will after some prejudice have been broken down, respect your way of being.

When you meet your psychiatrist you can start getting treatment for AS issues, and adjust your life and social life to that condition. I don't know what that involves. I think accepting your tendency to solitude, and maybe meet people that are more like you is one of the actions.

This is much of what worked for me at least, I'm just trying to see if it may help you. Talking over the internet is kind of a hopeless situation, so it may not do much. Human contact is best.

All of this is great advice but I sort of feel that I don't have the right to think I'm different or that I think differently etc. My whole life I've felt like I actually do think differently than other people, but maybe I'm just imagining that. I'm not sure I have AS. I've never even seen a psychologist. Perhaps I've "only" got Social Anxiety Disorder and Depression. I don't know. Point is; maybe I'm not different. Maybe I'm NT. It's a bit difficult to explain, but do you know what I mean?

You're being brave to have committed to university.
I wish (also) to be able to solve this for you - I've been there more than a few times.
And I put off going to finish my university due to being intensely worried about the social part. The couple of weeks just before starting held some of the worst anxiety I've ever experienced. That trapped feeling, not knowing what in the world I was doing there, having less than 0 confidence, etc.
Once the work starts, it gets a little better, partly because your mind is occupied. I still just about freaked out when having to walk into a crowded class and find a seat. I mean, there were still all sorts of challenges, some pretty dark. Perhaps, like for me, time will pass more quickly and your appointment will be coming sooner than it seems right now.

Make sure you're taking care of your basic health and getting some exercise. Back then, very long walks helped me, plus gave me an appetite for somewhat healthier foods. :p
Hope you feel better soon.

You have the right. Because you're in the situation you're in. And that is an extreme situation that is not normal at all. No-one is supposed to have it like that. And you don't understand that you're in an unusual situation becuase you haven't talked to anyone who can show it to you. A psychologist would listen to you with horror, "how could someone be in such a situation?", "he/she really needs help". And that's right. Maybe you don't get that? Maybe I didn't at that time aswell.

It's sort of like waking up, and taking your situation seriously. Normal functioning people don't stress in social situation at all. They love it. It's the best in the world for many people. You need to get to that stage. To get to relax. And then you need to realize that you don't imagine it - that you Have AS - that you do not only have Social Anxiety and Depression - You are different - You are not NT.

You're tricking yourself. You need to compare yourself to others. I think that will help you. I know I had the exact doubts as those you mentioned last there. But I got toughened after talking to someone who made me realize my situation was not good. People should be happy. I should take care of myself. I deserve attention. I deserve to be heard. I feel different, therefore I am. People around me are Wrong. They actually are. It's misunderstandings, a bunch of them. It's even part of common AS problems.

How can you be so sure? I mean, all of the things I've written in this thread could probably be explained by some sort of anxiety disorder and/or depression. Nothing really points towards AS. I've never seen a psychologist/psychiatrist so my suspicions could be completely wrong. Just because I think I think differently doesn't mean I do. Sometimes (more so lately) I think it's completely ridiculous that I suspect I might have AS. Other days I'm sure I have it.

I know "normal functioning people" don't stress in social situations and that they love being social. But not only people with AS dislike engaging in social activities. People with Social Anxiety Disorder do and even introverted people prefer being by themselves. And maybe my situations isn't as bad as I think it is. What if I'm "faking"? What if I'm delusional? What if all people go through these things, only they can handle it better? I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound all pessimistic, I'm just expressing my doubts.

(Starting uni today and I'm so anxious I'm nauseous.)

Seriously, I can't for the life of me understand why people want to play games and humiliate other people during the first two weeks of university. I don't get it. I really can't understand why people have to be social all the time. I don't even understand how people have enough energy to go to all the social activities? I'm even going to be exhausted after today (my first day)! I don't want to meet new people. I don't want to. They scare me and I'm freaking out. I hate this. I hate meeting new people and I feel like such a bad person because of it. The human is supposed to be a social being and we're supposed to like other people and live for other people but I'm scared of them. They're noisy, they invade my personal space and I imagine they're judging me. I don't know if I can do this. I'm seriously considering not going to any of the social activities and only go to my classes. But then I'll be the outsider. Again. I feel like smashing something.

Your doubts is your problem, dude.



If you have Social Anxiety Disorder, it is something that can be fixed, it's just an obstacle and an irrational fear made up in your head. Kind of like a mental illness. I have been around that diagnose/thinking of it/people judging that I may have it for many years. It is an easy conclusion to come to, but do you really think it fits? For me that diagnose didn't help at all, everything you could do to fix it didn't do anything (like exposing yourself and challenging yourself, do you think that helps..). After a while it just became stupid, because I didn't have problems with people around me anymore, I'm not afraid at all. It just messed up my understanding of what was really wrong with me. If you're AS at heart, different at heart, and not just a normal person with some kind of problems in your head, then Social Anxiety don't cover the whole picture. It doesn't seem like it do. And introverted NT people prefer being by themselves, but they appreciate to be social and everything that means too. They don't have any big problems with social interaction, they just do a simple decision that they would like to be alone in some occasions - care-free. They shouldn't have social problems or anything that you are talking about, trust me. It is also stupid.

You are obsessing over small problems thinking that they are the real problem. But I don't think they are. You're too scared to face the real facts. If doubts are taking over your mind it is not a good thing. Things could be this or that, you could be wrong. Everything can be just made up. But don't use so much time on these thoughts, they won't get you anywhere. I was in your exact situation, goddammit ^^ Doubts just made me even weaker. A whimp. That could not take care of myself. I didn't realize that I deserved a life with normal function, that I deserved to live as much as everyone around me. I am me. My existence. Everyone else can go to hell. I need help, and all the doubts/all other people's opinions were just messing me up. I needed something real, something that actually HELPED, because something actually DO. Not doubts and suggestions and hints from others, they didn't do anything for me. And they would supposedly do something for me, they just didn't. So there I was. Social Anxiety and Depression Come from something, it has a cause, if AS symptoms fit you in some way, like if you feel you actually are just different then everyone else, you function differently, you don't have just a small mental problem that is blocking something, you should just get rid of all the doubt and Believe it. 100%. Then I hope your life will get better.

You're mind is f*****g you up. There is also an option to trust this megasmart crazy guy on the internet telling you the Truth That you are wrong, I don't know. I hope you fix your head on your own. And actually present your prognosis on your problems yourself to the psychiatrist/psychologist, it would help you get the help that is best.

Since you are in such a similar situation that I was in I would also suggest starting on SSRI medication like Cipralex. I was on the extremity of skepticism towards medication for mental problems when I suddenly was told by a doctor that there may be a chemical inbalance in my brain causing the Serotonine to clog up(?), and that this was something I was born with. All the symptoms needed were connected to depression. It changed my life. I got another relationship with everyone around me (got rid of my problems..), I relaxed more in so many situations which would make me want to kill myself, and I could experience happiness instead of depression. It was crucial. There is nothing wrong with this medication, it only changed me in a way that made me better.