Litterally terrified of my special interest changing!

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As the title says I am scared of this happening, getting more and more scared that the very small amount of interest I still have is going to disappear, I'm scared of watching a DVD because I think I managed to stop an interest in April and if I watch this film it might come back. I don't know how to deal with this I am actually really freaking out. I feel so bad for the people and things I'd leave behind if I changed. I feel wrong going into something else! I've just got away from the bullies! I don't want people to turn on me again. I really, really need help. PLEASE, I can't explain this to a psychologist that I'm already dreading seeing on Wednesday. I want to be me and only me with no damn interest wrecking my entire life. I just need help and a way out and no one hear even seems to know what to do!! !!

What's your interest by the way?

For the past two/ three years it's been Twilight or more specifically Alice and Jasper grime twilight

I've had special interests disappear on me within weeks. Sometimes it's just a transition to something else that's even more important to you.

I don't really understand your post
- why are you worried that this other interest might come back?
- who are those people you feel bad for?
- what's the change that you think will mean you'll get bullied again?

Unlike what seems to be the norm for Aspies I have always been entierly open about what my interest is at primary school that was absolutely no issue but over the course of one interest I have gained a good many friends- some I want to keep and some on a bit of a smaller scale. I have friends who are friends with very sneeking horrible people who can already sense I'm not like them and I can just hear it now if I get something new and go mad on that- especially if it's all of a sudden given that I read those books months ago.
I feel guilty to leave behind all the other fans to become a fan of a riv sort of thing. I feel bad for the actors and actresses who have gained my support and will randomly lose it. I feel bad for the people who have soent at least two hundred pounds on an interest. I hate all of this!

my special interest tend to end when I run out of information to learn. I have had special interest last less than a day and some lasting for years.