Sorry but I have tell someone!! !!

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lkonantz
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05 Dec 2006, 2:26 am

Well, I'm a little shocked right now, because a friend of mine was in town over the weekend and not once stopped by to say hi or even let me know she was in town!! !! ! I really hate this. The last time we talked I even told her to tell me when she was coming up but I didn't happen. How did I find out?!?!?! Well, I was on facebook.com and saw pictures of the my friends doing some stuff and saw her. (Mind you these pictures were new!) So, I waited a little to see if she had really come up and I just looked at her profile and discovered she was here!! !! ! I don't know what to do about this. Should I make a comment about why didn't I see you or should I ignore it all together. This kind of the thing seems to happen alot to me, when I'm just forgotten about. I really hate this because I really could have used the time with friends then sitting in my dorm room, alone and surf the internet (really just spending time on this site.)

So again I'm sorry about this but I really need to tell someone and I know if I tell my counselor, well just say that's sad or why do you think they didn't call you. Just I really don't need because I don't have clue. However, if anyone does have any idea to help me, I would love to hear it because I've given up trying to figure things out with my friends here in Wisconsin.



larsenjw92286
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05 Dec 2006, 3:02 pm

I hope things improve with you soon!


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lemon
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05 Dec 2006, 5:40 pm

I think that's a difficult thing...
I never could work it out either, people who say one thing and
do something else (like yes , i'll do that for you or we'll come to visit you or whatever and they never do: i ask myself 'why do they come up with it in the first place? if you don't intend to do something then just leave it you know')

Now I choose people who don't do this kind of things ...
Before i tried so many times but it just doesn't work, so i stopped seeing unpredictable people.

Maybe it's very NT to act that way, like a 'little white lie in order not to hurt you.'
but it always hurts me more, i feel very uncomfortable and uneasy bcs most of the time you get some air of it anyway.

As for being alone, can't you do any activity? (i don't mean a real group activity but something that asks your concentration on the task (playing an instrument ?) or help someone in your neighborhood) A walk for the library ( i don't know how it's in your place but we always have this large study-rooms in the library and i like the atmosphere of people who are reading but not talking or interacting with eachother all the time)
Or drawing classes (i like artistic people more than other people, i can even have conversations with them-that might also be bcs painting is something i'm obsessed with though-)

don't give up ! !
wish you luck



lkonantz
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05 Dec 2006, 8:52 pm

Thanks, guys.

Lemon, I've tried to do things by myself but since i don't have roommate, I really just want to spend sometime with people not alone. However, thanks of the ideas.



larsenjw92286
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05 Dec 2006, 8:53 pm

You're welcome!


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lemon
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06 Dec 2006, 5:10 pm

ok, i hope you can figure it out!

(inviting a few friends for dinner might work? people are always in to come to share food i noticed. this can be very cheap as well, like spaghetti, or pizza, or quiche or so.or everyone bringing something. don't forget to offer them something to drink-i used to forget that sometimes and it's a big mistake)



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07 Dec 2006, 10:33 am

I hope you find the answer to why those people did that. It might be a stupid, and heartless answer. At least you'd know to cut off your ties with them, if the answer has to do with the mere fact that you're on the Spectrum.

Hugs, kisses and wimpers, from Ruby and me.:heart:



lkonantz
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07 Dec 2006, 7:31 pm

Thanks, lemon and CockneyRebel. It does make me feel a little better. I still don't know what to do with this group of friends becuase I had something similar happen to me last year with this group. However, one thing I know is that I have not told any of them about AS so I know it is not that. So, I'm still working on it and i'm open to any ideas anyone has to the way they act towards me. (I'm willing to give more examples!!)

Thanks again for the support!! !!



lemon
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08 Dec 2006, 3:07 am

lkonantz wrote:
Thanks, lemon and CockneyRebel. It does make me feel a little better. I still don't know what to do with this group of friends becuase I had something similar happen to me last year with this group. However, one thing I know is that I have not told any of them about AS so I know it is not that. So, I'm still working on it and i'm open to any ideas anyone has to the way they act towards me. (I'm willing to give more examples!!)

Thanks again for the support!! !!



that's ok , if you feel like sorting out things with examples, go ahead. not that i can asure you that an interesting answer will follow, but sometimes i like thinking about situations, in fact i do it quite often myself.



hpunch
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08 Dec 2006, 3:41 am

I hope things improve for you.

--xon