dying and dead

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I really have no idea how I'm feeling now, or what I'm suppose to feel.

Grandpa died about a month ago.
2 friends killed themselves this year.
My pet dog might be put down tomorrow.
I constantly worry that someone I know might die.

Death makes me feel really numbed and confused. Emotions are hard enough to handle and death just makes everything so messy.

Hello reneeirena,

But also, that's a lot of deaths for you to deal with for one single year.

... And now your dog which is not going well either.
Is it so old or so sick that it'd have to be put down?

I hope everything will be alright for you.

He's half paralysed and now he's not eating or barking (the dog I mean). The vet said he won't live as long as others but he won't need to be put down. He'll be out of surgery soon and I hope he'll be fine. Not too sure what the vet said to my dad though...