Surrounded by people, yet so alone.

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oldsk00l90
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Joined: 6 Mar 2012
Age: 34
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Location: North Carolina, USA

10 Oct 2012, 9:24 pm

I have always been a lonely person, ever since I was old enough to know what social interaction was. When I was a little child in early grade school, I often watched how other children played together and how it came so naturally to them.. I on the other hand, I was a thousand miles away from the social circles. Having an undiagnosed case of Asperger Syndrome (didn't find out till I was 20), I was the class odd-ball. That one kid that just didn't click with the rest of the classroom. Other than growing older and acquiring a few more social skills, nothing much has changed with me. Sure, I might know a little more now about how friendships work, but that is like saying two drops in a bucket are closer to filling it than one. I have often wondered if I would be less lonely as a hermit. There would be nobody around, but at least I wouldn't see groups of people having a good time and accidently remind me of my desolation.



glasstoria
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10 Oct 2012, 9:52 pm

I think I have felt this feeling, too. Very acutely isolated. It really does hurt. Try not to be too hard on yourself about it, you couldn't know your own diagnosis when you were a child. As an adult, you can decide to use what you know about yourself, and study skills to help you create the friendships you want and need. It will get better!


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Your Aspie score: 165 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 48 of 200
EQ 12 SQ 70 = Extreme Systemizer


oldsk00l90
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Joined: 6 Mar 2012
Age: 34
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Location: North Carolina, USA

10 Oct 2012, 10:16 pm

I have tried to tell myself that, but nothing has really changed.



ScottC
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11 Oct 2012, 12:30 am

i've always felt the same way... especially in shopping malls. Instead of expecting to making real friends directly I just try to do stuff with other people...sports or other activities, and try to show up on time, not let people down and go with the flow. I'm also trying, and need to work more on, trying to help out people even more isolated, they are out there even though I find my attention goes toward cool people I 'can get something from' which kind of guarantees an off-balance relation really. sometimes just having a quick few words with the security guy at my office or other people around helps break that feeling of isolation for the rest of the day.