Crying out for help...no one's listening

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nintendogurl1990
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24 Dec 2012, 5:10 am

I'm in a desperate situation. My mother has a serious hoarding problem, but no one seems to understand. When I was hospitalized recently I told a social worker there was too much clutter in my house, and he just said "Well just clean up the clutter." Even my therapist and psychiatrist suggested the same thing, but it's not that easy. My mom has a serious problem. And when I was being interviewed for a day therapeutic program, the manager of the program interviewed me and my mom, and she asked us if I was happy with my living situation, and my mom just said that I would like to live on my own soon, which is true, but that's not the point. I'm unhappy with my living situation RIGHT NOW. I can't wait until I move out. My mom just dismissed it like it was nothing though. I need help. My family needs help. We can't do this by ourselves but my mom doesn't seem to realize this.



OMGitsKenny
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24 Dec 2012, 5:20 am

The hoarding must be pretty high scale... What exactly is she hoarding? My advice would be go to your therapist and tell them the situation and that you are unhappy and you feel your mom has a problem that worries you. Sometimes it takes convincing. I hope this helps
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24 Dec 2012, 5:41 am

I'm afraid I don't have any direct advice other than what OMGitskenny said. But then even if your therapist understood would he be able to change your mom's behaviour? that's another question.

However, I can sympathize with you! I don't live at home anymore, but whenever I visit home (like now) I get annoyed about the amounts of crap everywhere and by the sounds of it your mom has to be even worse. I like to have the minimum amount of stuff and get rid of things that I don't need anymore frequently. I think it's an Aspie thing for me. I don't want to play down your situation, but have other people pointed out the hoarding problem aswell? Also, can you get any of the therapists to come to visit you at your house and would they be convinced if they saw it?



AaaaCccc
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24 Dec 2012, 11:21 am

You are in a tough spot.
People have a right to hoard unless it is creating an unsafe situation (like a health hazard, rats, old food, mold, animal or child involved)

If she is elderly, you could try calling elder services to do a home safety evaluation.

If you can find some way it is a hazard you can get the county to force her to do something.

If there is a homeowners association, they could force a clean up.

If its her house though, the same right we all have to be quirky, is why no one can make her clean it up if it's not a hazard.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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24 Dec 2012, 1:09 pm

What if you say to your mom, Mom, I'd like to take photographs of the hoarding to show my therapist. It's not a good situation and it affects me, too.

And photographs, combined with verbal description, are often very convincing.



chris5000
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24 Dec 2012, 2:08 pm

most hoarders stay unknown till it gets so bad it starts spilling outside

is it actual stuff or is it all garbage?



nintendogurl1990
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24 Dec 2012, 10:13 pm

chris5000 wrote:
most hoarders stay unknown till it gets so bad it starts spilling outside

is it actual stuff or is it all garbage?


It's actual stuff



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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26 Dec 2012, 9:34 pm

That can still impinge on actual space and start to close down moving area.