Angry and on the verge of doing something stupid!

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Right now I'm looking at the Facebook page of the high school girl who sent me to prison for a crime I didn't commit. I'm so close to writing a private message asking for the apology that's 20 years overdue.

I'm 90% sure she's a full-on sociopath though (1600+ "friends" and the exact same smile in every photograph only add to that concern. Heck, her smiles now are exactly the same as the HS yearbook!) I've tangled with sociopaths and lost quite a few times... If I show my face, she'll only destroy it rather than show any human emotion - and she'll happily destroy me in order to protect her carefully-crafted image. She's lied an manipulated her way to some very high-ranking positions and is very well connected and powerful.

Gad.... how can people be so damned EVIL.... and yet they are the ones who prosper. I'm sick now....

That's quite a story. Can you reveal any of the details?

I probably shouldn't in order to protect myself from her, and from a few ne'er-do-wells right here on this site.

Suffice it to say, back in HS we came close to dating (zeeerrooo sexual activity, only one kiss in total) but she wanted to play social games of cat & mouse with me - I hated it and gave her the cold shoulder... I thought that was it until she decided to get her final revenge by making a phony police report. Things simply snowballed out of control from there and few authorities believed my side simply because I "acted weird"... and "only guilty people act weird." (How's that for "sucks to be an Aspie!")

*sigh*

The rage is receding and leaving behind that huge nausea that it does... thank GAWD I've had some training in self-control, anger management and good therapy... even 5 years ago this moment would've nearly destroyed me in some way.


...now comes the hard part... after 20 years... can I forgive her?

Forgive, but never forget.

For once I'm going to give the opposite advice. Don't forgive, just forget. You have other things that have made you how you feel as it is and you've discussed them in other boards. This should be in your past now. The best expression of self control would be to remove any temptation of viewing this person on social networking sites in order not to remind you of what happened. If you keep thinking back to the things that happened rather than the things you have learned from those events it will only hold you back. And you're alright really, Max, so it would be a shame if you didn't build on your future because of your past.

You can block her from your Facebook (she will not be able to see your profile and vice versa).

As a lot of other aspies you probably have difficulties forgetting and forgiving. I do not think that I understand the term - just forget it. If I feel unjustice, I am not able to forget - I do not know if it is just something people say, but how to do you go around forgetting things? I am not good at forgiving either - but I can chose to get on with things, as you should do here (according to me, that is).

You write that she is stronger than you (in this situation) and no good would come out of you contacting her again. I agree with op, block her from Facebook, that way you would not feel any temptation to look at her profile again.

Very, very sensible advice all around... I think maybe I can sleep easy now.

Thanks.

Do what I do.

Leave her alone but work tirelessly to destroy the world she relies on to be who she is without consequence.

And what I mean by destroy is to change it for the better so that liars, cheats, crooks, will be more naked then if you stripped them yourself.

Hell comes to them before they die.

Why did you search her? If she's treated you like s**t, why would you be further interested in her, at least enough to look her up?

Sitting at the computer, somehow the thought just entered my head. I always failed to find her in years past but this time I succeeded.
I'm simply going to make more effort to lead my own life better, not for anyone's sake but my own. On the plus side, should a confrontation ever come, she'll invariably do what school bullies do - compare her life to mine and extol how much better she is than me.

If I've led a good life with some more accomplishments under my belt (instead of wasting every night on video games to escape the world) then I can hold my head up high. I've accomplished some cool things already... instead of mourning the loss of my family, it's time to pick up and really LIVE again.

I have all the tools I need to write music again.
I have all the tools I need to get back in shape again.
With those on their way, I'll feel better about myself and feel more attractive... heck, I might very well couple-up again! I'm almost ready for that... I'm not too far gone yet.

Thank goodness for a place like this to vent, and for some sensible thoughts.

Subscribe to some illegal type porn in her name then notify the authorities that she's into it, anonymously.

^ Your answers make me laugh!

BlueMax, I wouldn't even risk searching her on FB - I'd be completely afraid to. I guess my idea of revenge in that instance is (if you believe in the afterlife) to be a poltergeist and haunt her.

They say it's good to get your anger out, but it's only good to a certain degree. To keep fuming over something and to keep thinking about it creates a very bad cycle. I don't blame you at all though for being angry.

The moment has definitely passed without contacting her. The odds are I'd never get the apology I hoped for... and rule #1 of the sociopath handbook is to "Protect Thyself - destroy all threats." If I came out of the woodwork at all, she'd very likely go into full protection mode and be sure to destroy me before I could threaten her head-of-the-media image.

In short, she's not worth another thought or emotion - whether I forgive her or not. I'm not saying what she did is okay or right in any way - I'm just not going to feel any hate for it anymore. It's over.

Good for you I guess that it will be a process and that it will take some time. The first step you have already made so I hope you will not stumble on your way.

If you weren't an ocean away, I'd hug you for your kindness. Please accept this virtual one.