Keep feeling angry over something

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OK I know I'm posting a lot of boring s**t on here lately but I just really wanted to get this one off my chest, and for those of you that are getting bored of me then the polite thing to do is to not read this then we're all happy. The good news it is not a depressing/suicidle post.

As some of you know I am obsessed with bus-drivers, but I'm not here to natter on about it specifically, I'm just sort of ranting about a problem that's related to the obsession (any true Aspies here will know how I feel). I have became good friends with a female bus-driver, and we've got to know each other sort of, and we can't believe how much we have in common.
But they had all their contracts changed a few weeks ago, and since then I haven't seen her, although I know she's still in the company because she's the one who warned me about the contract change. She did say she will be back on my bus, but I haven't seen her so far.
I know she is a possible Aspie because we have so much in common with each other and what she's said about herself so far sounds very Aspie-ish, like she gets anxious at routine change, she finds relationships very hard, she struggles with friendships and socialising, she's prone to getting upset easily, and she suffers from stress and anxiety over small things what others wouldn't worry about. Even if that all does not necessarily mean she's Aspie, it still makes me feel good when I talk to her. She's very fond of me too, and I think we would make great friends, and I wanted to get her number the next time I see her on my bus, but like I said, she hasn't been on it lately so I haven't got a chance to see her.
The last time I did speak to her, a stupid old bag (passenger) got on the bus and practically took over and started yakking on to her about herself and completely pushing me out. The bus-driver couldn't get a word in edgeways and so couldn't stop her, but personally I think that old bag was so rude. That could have been my last moments I had to speak to my friend, and I could have got her number there and then, but I couldn't because this stupid snotty old bag had to take over....ohh, some people I hate!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
So, yeah, that forever ruined my last chance to talk to my friend and if I had got her number, we could've still been in touch today. I did ask one of the grumpy new ones that are now in their place (another female driver), but she decided to be sarcastic and told me that they're not allowed to say where the rest of the drivers are, which is BS because I've often asked drivers before where others are and they were quite happy to tell me, knowing that I've been a regular passenger for almost 6 years now and that I have got friendly with some of them (this applies to other regular passengers too, so it is not doing anything unusual).

But anyway I know you shouldn't stand talking to the bus-driver but that's BS, a lot of people do in my area and nobody really objects to it, and that is not the point of this problem anyway.

Word of advice for other Aspies: Do not get obsessed with people! This is what stress it brings into your life, whoever they are!! !

Good advice.

From my experience, getting attached to someone, I end up stalking them or going after them. Now I sit back and it's frustrating when I like someone but yet can't do anything about it because I am afraid of coming off wrong. I still hate getting obsessed with people.

I used to drive a school bus. I hated it because I was so bad at keeping the kids under control.

at times i get attached to people and then my feelings end up being hurt. i try my best but im a sucker.

I've been going a bit crazy from someone I've met being offline, that I knew it was going to be but not for how long. Since the person is also Aspie I'm approaching it differently; they will get in touch when they are able so I'm not going to completely obsess, it's good that I have other things going to occupy my time though in the same instance I miss the rapport that had been building.

@Joe90, this bus company isn't so large as to have 1000s of drivers, is it? Your friend may be temporarily assigned to the routes you don't take, or maybe she is even stationed at headquarters training the new drivers, just a thought.

But yeah, interests in people can be a real mindf, er, bend with their aspects as opposed to more static interests.

I hope this is the case, I really really do. I just don't want it going on for too long because she did say ages ago that she can't cope with all the change of the shifts and everything, and I just hope she doesn't suddenly leave.

I keep feeling sad when hearing things to do with her, like hearing her name or hearing a certain phrase she always says and so on. Makes me feel like I'm swallowed up in loss. She's a one and only, I don't think I will ever meet another friend like her, and she understood me more than my other friends. It's not fair I hate this bus company.

If you are thinking of getting to know this person outside of the driver/passenger role and she doesn't turn up on the route you may consider placing an anonymous post on Craigslist, I would try posting under "Rants & Raves", wait a few days, post again, wait a few more days and repeat as required. I have seen people do that and have better success than posting in "Missed Connections" at finding lost people. I've thought of doing it myself to find old bandmates.

You could perhaps contact the company she works for and ask there? You could at least have your phone number given to her so she can call you if she wants.

I was intending to do that (phone the company up), but I'm afraid they might say that it's confidential. I can actually imagine them saying that, then I'll feel stupid. I was thinking of writing out a Christmas card for her this Christmas (that is if she hasn't left) and putting a nice little message inside it like ''this is my home number if you want to chat'' or something like that, and giving it to one of the other drivers to give to her, but I don't want to look like I'm smothering her or pressuring her. It's different if I see her and give her my number, but by going out of my way to do it might kind of scare her away. I know she is fond of me and we are becoming good friends, I still don't want to look too desperate for her friendship, if you know what I mean.

The UK seems to have much stronger privacy laws than the US and I doubt that most businesses in the US would hand out information like that to people who call. If you call here wanting the telephone number of a co-worker, you had better have a very convincing reason for wanting it.



I think that is an excellent idea. I don't know about the UK, but in the US, it would likely be better to addressed it to the driver with the address of the bus company and let them pass it to the driver. Giving it to another driver would be depending entirely on that driver to pass it along.

For a message, maybe something like "Haven't seen you lately on the route -- I hope you are doing well." and signed with your name and your telephone number. The presence of your telephone number on the page should be enough to indicate permission to call you without the added verbiage.



Yeah. Looking desperate is usually the last thing you want to do.

I think my ex was the only person I ever got attached to seriously though I did have some minor and disappointing attachments in my youth.

Resentment cures this.