I wish it was 2005 again :(

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OK, there's a lot of stuff that I'm going to be talking about here, so let me begin. When I first entered high school in July 2005, I was happy. I met this girl whom I felt really close to, and mean REALLY close. I had good friends. And I didn't care what people thought of me.

But all that changed in the latter part of the school year. The other kids, mostly girls, said my tastes in music, movies, TV and other things were juvenile for my age. I watched Nick shows like Spongebob, and watched kids movies (I still mostly watch kids movies to this day.) while all the other kids watched more mature shows like Grey's Anatomy, The Hills, The OC, Family Guy, etc. I felt like a loser because it seemed all the girls in my grade had matured faster mentally than I have, so I tried to be like them and start trying to get into more grown-up intrests just so I could be able to relate to them. The boys, however, didn't seem to judge me on my intrests. Not sure why.

Anyway, In July 2006, my behavior changed drastically. I started freaking out over everything. By fall of that year, I started acting out. I was yelling, taking my frustrations out on everyone, and cursing. I became very depressed and even tthought about suicide and in October, I even had to be hospitalized for a few days (one of my four hospitalizations in the past six years.) I was later diagnosed with clincal depression.

In Sepember 2007, I got expelled from school because I got so mad (I don't exactly remember why) that I told a counselor I was going to carry out a school shooting. I went to another school in December, and that school was much worse than my old one.

In August 2009, I tried so hard to fit in with this group of girls, but they didn't like me. Plus, I was overwhelmed with the kind of work the teachers were giving me, and I started lashing out at everyone again.

When I graduated in June 2010, I was glad I never had to go to school again.

Later that year I tried to rekindle my friendship with the girl I felt close to, but it turned out she had gone down her own road and didn't want to be friends anymore. I was devastated. I felt like I didn't want to live anymore. I still miss her today.

Now I'm out of school, currently waiting for a day program. Meanwhile, I'm severely depressed because I can't get over the bad things that have happened to me in the last seven years, or get over the things I have done to other people. Plus, it seems like people are scared of me because of the way I acted. I feel like I don't deserve to live. I wish I had a time machine so I could go back to 2005. It was SO much better than the present time.

That is a sign of your maturity and their immaturity. When kids hit heir early teens they become very embarrassed about "childish" things. They watch older stuff because they WANT TO SEEM mature. But later when they ACTUALLY become mature they enjoy kids shows again. All the best kids shows have a healthy following among university students. The best kids shows (like Spongebob, or at least the early ones) work on multiple levels. But the shows that try to be more adult are often shallow and formulaic. Twilight movies being the obvious example. I could write more about the examples you give (Family Guy, Gray's, etc.) but that would derail the thread. And maybe those are deeper than I realize, but if your friends criticized you then I guarantee they missed those depths.


LOL they probably find you good looking.


If people you care about belittle you then obviously you will be depressed. Every example of depression I have ever seen has rational reason like this. I am sure that some people are depressed for chemical reasons, so can be fixed with a pill, but I have never seen any examples.


IMO The whole education system is broken and wrong, and results in bullying, depression, uneducated kids, etc. But that's another topic.


This shows that you are a more moral and nicer person than the other girls. The other girls shunned and belittled you, but I bet they don't care at all. I am not saying what you did was right, but it was perfectly normal given the circumstances: you are certainly no worse than others, but you are more moral because you care.

I'm going to say most things we experience is our own personal perception.

Lots of teens love spongebob, it couldn't be as popular as it was if they didn't. Unfortunately it was more people at your school, i'm thinking that its more you felt it was immature because they didn't like it.

I'd say family guy is formulaic in the sense that they'll do cutaway humor that has nothing to do with the show--the cool thing is they'll make references that will fit several age ranges. (Peter listing randomly every street fighter 2 character for example)

I guess the point in general is people have different tastes. Kids do watch other stuff to feel accepted and mature as teens. I felt like a dork because I didn't really listen to any mainstream music of any kind, but there are people out there who have interests the same as you. Its just that hormones and self-identity are so dysfunctional as a teen, most will not admit their unique interests and therefore less people are aware of those interests or like them.

It may be because you're depressed, but that does not mean that future experiences can't surpass those times.

Why don't you deserve to live? Many people have lashed out and had bad highschool experiences.

That's OK. I wish it was 1965 again ...

I hear ya. I wish it were 99/00 again....

I've been having similar thoughts. Sometimes I wish I could go back to being 11 in 2003, but with my current knowledge and personality, so that I can avoid being diagnosed with AS. The reason behind that is because the school overreacted to the diagnosis and gave me all kinds of "help" that I didn't need, which only managed to give me a "ret*d kid" reputation and the other kids an excuse to bully me, even the "weird kids" who weren't much different from me but didn't have the special ed department breathing down their necks.

If I could go back and act differently to avoid the diagnosis, then people might actually be willing to talk to me. Then I could live a happy youth where I would have friends, play video games with them, do weird-kid things like writing stupid fanfiction and roleplaying, and maybe even experience love while it's still a new and wonderful thing.

I'd take 1994 as a reset date, before I got engaged to my 1st husband. I could be well on my way to my original life's goal of crazy cat lady.

I wish I could travel to 1965 as a young man in London.

The year 2005 would be a good time for me to return to. Then again, I would be going back to a time where I didn't learn all the lessons that I have now learned. So it's not a guarantee that things would be better for me if I were to go back. But either way, it was an enjoyable time despite some major stressful events I experienced.