left out again

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So I go on Facebook and there's a picture of all my cousins at my cousin's baby shower. I was the only one not inited. this is not the first time they hae left me out. I didnt een know about the shower. when the baby was born I sent a nice card and gift aybe they didnt inite e beause I already sent a gift? she sent me a nie picture of the baby and thank you note. I went to the wedding and gave a generous gift. this makes me so sad. I am an only hild and this is the only family on my side other than my kids. My daughter who is 18 was not inited either the baby has health problems and I hae been good about asking how she is doing.

sorry abut the typos problems with keyboard

family is so important to me and I would hae loed to hae been inluded. should I say something. the ousin who hosted the shower has neer been too friendly to me, I don't know why. I hae tried inviting them to things and they are not too friendly. I don't think I am a b*tCh. Should I say something?

I thought maybe it was the distance - I'm about 4 hours away but I travelled to the wedding - but other cousins who live far away were invited

I'm sorry to hear this happened to you, sturdy.

Family is important to me, too, but like you've discovered, such feelings aren't always returned ... I've gone through this kind of thing too. And have decided that it's not worth it for me to travel hundreds of miles home at holiday time just to be insulted, disrespected, ignored, etc.

Hope things will improve for both of us, you and me.

.....

I think it is time to stop caring and stop buying expensive gifts for people who treat you the way they do. They did not invite you because they did not want to invite you. You need to face it. And complaining about it will only bring you more humilliation and sadness. I tried to connect with my in-laws because I wanted a family for my kid. They never loved me. They never loved my kid. It took me a while but I learned you cannot make people love you. They do or they dont. If they dont it has nothing to do with you. It is because they are mean people. You are better off them.

thanks

The bad news is that you're right; if every other member of a specific group that includes you is invited to something, then being left out is likely a snub. If not every person in your family was invited, maybe it was just a small shower. The fact that you sent a gift already isn't really a good reason not to invite; that suggests that they are inviting people only for the purpose of getting more stuff. That may be what a baby shower is for in many ways, but an invitation really shouldn't be based upon it.

I guess I don't have good news to balance that bad news, only this... Don't feel bad for sending a gift. Other people don't decide for you whether you want to be generous. If a person is ungrateful for something you do for them, you don't have to carry on doing things for them... unless you feel like it. I was amazed how freeing it was to realize that. Free will means you can be as nice as you want no matter how nasty others decide to be. Or you can keep your distance. Whatever you like.

I've seen both sides of the question... a lot of times, people have done what they saw as a favor, or displayed what they regarded as well-developed good manners, and the proceeded to treat me like a scum-beast when I failed to realize and respond appropriately. So much for kindness and good manners. There's no tougher test of how truly kind a person is, than to have their kindness trampled. A lot of people fail it and go for revenge instead.

Nevertheless, I wouldn't waste much energy on the part of the family that acts this way... just be civil and save the kindnesses for people who at least treat you with respect.