my dad saw the cuts on my wrists

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and nobody seems to give a s**t
supposed to be in therapy but my moms too busy drinking on the boat and my dads too busy thinking i can just try harder durr
if i kill myself ill burn this f*****g house down before i do it and leave a note in the mail box. good luck retiring with money from a burnt house. tey barely acknowledge my autism and don't acknowledge my tourretes at all.
did i mention im the first one to blame for their problems? wheever tech breakdown is my fault
everyone online tells me to kill myself when i say i cut
im 20 years old with no escape from this negligence
the government won't give me ssi because i don't show any symptoms x f*****g d
i hope this world burns

before this my mom took me to the doctor and put me on ssris that made me worse so i stooped

one time i wwas in therapy but there was a snow storm so we turned around and never went back

i just want out

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literally fitting
it's like poetry

Wow sorry to hear your going through all of that

It must be hard not having your parants support

how do i escape this besides suicide

Move towards being self sufficient. Budgeting/cooking/cleaning/driving

Learn to meditate, exercise, take anti deppresents if the doctor says you need them

I've cut. And been on ssri that made me worse. So a little bit of common ground.

When I read a post like yours I want to be able to rescue. But all I can come up with is the usual s**t you have already thought of or heard .

It's bad enough having something that f**ks you up, without having f**ked up parents to go along with it.

How the hell do you escape? Hopefully someone older has a good suggestion.

Sorry to hear about the s**t your going through, feeling suicidal is not a good place to be. I feel like I've felt suicidal most of my life - it's not true but the mind is very good at tricking you and making you feel crappy. If you feel suicidal you need to seek medical help asap. It may also benefit you if you research mindfulness , it can be very useful for intrusive thoughts.

Hello nobodycaresaboutme.
I don't know a lot of answers but just wanted to let you know that I care. It's really hard being your age ....when you are capable of doing a lot for yourself but just can't get a break that will enable you to get it all started and get on the way to helping yourself. You sound really angry and it's understandable. I wanted to mention though that as bad as you feel, what if your parents feel worse. It sounds like they can't get their s**t together at all. Some parents just fail and it hurts. They can't handle life, let alone their kids.
Do you at least have enough food and a safe place to sleep? Don't underestimate the value of those things. And add a bonus if they don't abuse you. It's hard to perceive the value of these until you are out in the world alone.
Do you have access to public transportation?
Probably your first priority should be getting back into that therapy that didn't happen. Is there a way to get there yourself even if it involves a long walk?
Can you just ride along with your parent when they go to work? Then walk/bus to a nearby therapist or find a job?
Maybe you can change to a therapist that you can get access to yourself this way.
You may be limited for a long time by their work hours but its at least a start. Yes you may spend a lot of time with nowhere to go but it might be worth it in the long run. This will all take a lot of patience but doing something feels a whole lot better than grinding a deeper, angrier hole right where you are.
Meanwhile, keep posting. Not everyone is in the same time zone or has the same free time but there are so many people here that care.

Try getting ssi with depression or anxiety. Clearly you are suffering and your autism causes challenges and limitations compared to someone who doesn't have the same condition. Don't feel bad if you have to exaggerate your symptoms and manipulate the system to get the help you need and deserve. I know what is like to be trapped in a toxic living situation and unable to escape it/become independent because of your health, physical/mental/developmental etc.

Make sure you make use of annoymous listening services like the lifeline in the US or even email/text samaritans to help you cope in the meantime. A suicide hotline in the US might be able to connect your with resources in your area.